It’s kind of human nature to dwell on things that bother us, events or people we feel betrayed or let us down in some way or another. Sometimes it can be hard not to return to those negative thoughts about how we “should” have been treated, but it’s really not healthy or helpful. Holding grudges can be fairly common. You’ll find it a lot in nature. Wasps can recognize faces and will attack someone who threatened them, dogs and cats will fear or lash out at someone who has hurt them in the past, even elephants and other larger animals on either side of the food chain have the ability to hold an almost instinctual grudge against someone who has brought pain or negativity into their lives, so why shouldn’t we? Chiefly, because it doesn’t do anyone but us any harm. Holding a grudge against someone doesn’t affect their life in the slightest. Someone who is going to treat you poorly enough for you to need to hold a grudge against them is probably not worth the saliva it would take to spit on their face, and they certainly aren’t out there worrying about whether or not you are upset at them. Take it from someone with plenty of reasons to hold grudges, from a deadbeat dad who ran out on me as a kid, to cheating exes, to horrible bosses who threw me under the bus to save their own skins, the list goes on and on. But so does life. And I promise, it is a lot better if you live with a positive outlook.
Far From Home
I am a huge lover of travel, of course, and I take every chance I can to get out and about. My wife and I love to go to new places, and we have seen some fairly far ports of call. I do think the farthest would either be San Juan or Cozumel. I can’t help but feel like Samwise Gamgee sometimes, though, realizing when a new destination will take the place of that “farthest from home” trophy. It’s a good feeling, though, to get out and experience new places, new cultures, new worlds. I can’t wait until our next long trip!
Daily writing prompt
Share a story about the furthest you’ve ever traveled from home.
Ideal Home
What does your ideal home look like?
Realistically, I have a lot of ideas about what my ideal hole would look like. Sometimes it’s a beach house. Sometimes it’s a mansion. Sometimes it’s a futuristic palace with a bowling alley, etc.. More often than not, though, it’s a gorgeous, simple cabin in the mountains. My cabin has all the comforts of home: a fireplace in the living area and master bedroom, as well as the library, a wrap around porch, a deep cellar with plenty of storage for canned goods. It sits right beside a beautiful and peaceful creek where I can sit and read or write. There is a vast overhead view clear of trees so I can stargaze all night. I could go on…. one day!!
Tears of Joy
What brings a tear of joy to your eye?
Honestly, there are a lot of things that can do this in my adulthood. Things from nature, art, music, and a good day with my wife. The list is fairly long. I think this is because I am quite blessed, really. It’s something i occasionally take for granted, but I’m working on it!
Why Blog?
I started blogging more than ten years ago, after learning about building my author platform online at a writing symposium. I never imagined, though, the release and joy I would find at being able to share my thoughts on writing, literature, music, the world, and life in general would bring. To me blogging is a platform, not only to try and bring attention to my writing (because if you haven’t read any of my fantasy, horror, or Appalachian fiction, there is no better time than the present) but also to try and help those who read it through information about my own experiences and a general sense of hopeful inspiration. In short, my blogging is a double purpose; to try and build a bigger audience for my books, and to try and give something positive back to the world. Because we can all use that, right?
Why do you blog?
Interviewing the World
This is an interesting prompt, really. As an author, a grad student, and a former reporter I have done more interviews than I can even count. It’s always an interesting experience, getting someone to open up enough to answer your questions – especially if they answer honestly. So, rather than draw from that previous well of information, I want to ask YOU, dear reader, some questions. Chiefly about writing and art in general. I’d love it if you would respond, either in comments or in a post of your own. Here goes!
What is your favorite form of art to enjoy?
When and if you read, do you have a preferred genre?
I have to ask, also, have you read any of my books?
If you have, do you have a favorite?
Who would you consider to be your favorite artist – and yes, you can have one for any and every medium!
Why is art important to your life?
Finally, what sort of art would you create if you could known for only one thing – but that one thing would put you on the list of the eternally beloved (think Bach, da Vinci, Shakespeare. etc…)?
Daily writing prompt
Interview someone — a friend, another blogger, your mother, the mailman — and write a post based on their responses.
Thursday Morning Thoughts
You know, this is a good question, and not one we usually answer with the full extent of honesty. As a form of greeting, it’s so easy to ask or be asked “how are you?” and get or give the standard “good, and you?” in today’s world. But how often are our feelings so simple? We are humans with complex thoughts, complex emotions, complex lives. Can that really be summed up with a simple “good?” Not at all. To be brutally honest, that’s one of the reasons students in school right now often face such a struggle with their own emotions. They have been trained, if not forthright, then at least through observation, that emotions and thoughts should be simple to categorize and explain away. So, when they start feeling actual emotions and realize how BIG they are, it freaks them out. They have no clue how to accept the fact that everyone else can simply be “good” all the time, while they feel like entire universes worth of emotion are swirling through their every waking thought.
At some point we have to ask ourselves as both a society and a species if this “how are you” routine is more helpful or harmful. Do any of us ever actually look at someone who asks that question and say “you know, I’m having a really bad day. I’m feeling a lot of things right now and I could stand to talk it out?” Almost never. The question really has become more rhetorical and continues to move in that direction the longer we ask it with such simplicity. More often than not people ask this as a simple greeting, not expecting anything other than that standard “good,” or better yet, the sarcastic “living the dream.” It has become a social call and response that merely acts to show us that we have noticed and acknowledged one another, so now let us go on about our day without any further or deeper interaction thanks. Altering society’s problems with accepting and teaching emotions and social emotional positivity is not something that can be fixed overnight, of course, but I think we could go a long way toward repairing those broken bridges if we take the time to actually ask each other how we are – and both expect and give real, honest answers. We can’t always just be “good.” Some days we might be sleepy, maybe we’re hungry, maybe we got behind a slow driver and we’re late for work and we need a minute to vent and complain. Maybe we got some really good news on the way to work and we want to take a minute to rejoice in it. Who knows. The point is, this is a very pregnant question. If any of us care to ask and answer it honestly, that is.
But anyway, I’m good today. How are you?
Improving the Everyday
There are a lot of things we can do to ensure that we have the best quality of life possible, of course. The real answer of what makes life better is a very individualized thing, but I find that making sure I take time for myself each day is exactly the thing. I make sure to read, write, play video games, watch something peaceful, and most importantly, spend time with my wife. Any or all of these things make my day better by an unfathomable amount. Mental health and self care matter, and taking the time to give yourself peace and happiness throughout the day is one of the best things you can do, hands down.
Daily writing prompt
What daily habit do you do that improves your quality of life?
Internet Searches and Nerdy Things
I have a couple of recent searches to note, one of them just being a quick check of the hours for local thrift stores because, well, I’m me. But the really important one… I was having a devil of a time finding the last 33 gems in Cliff Town in the first of the Spyro remastered trilogy. I had bounced and breathed fire and charged every inch of the map, but I couldn’t find them. My gut told me it would have something to do with the dome you spawn in at the beginning of the world, but I couldn’t figure it out. Don’t worry, though. I got them. If you’re ever in the same bind, just glide around the back of the dome. They’re hanging out out of plain sight.
Daily writing prompt
What was the last thing you searched for online? Why were you looking for it?
Lessons from the Classroom
Teaching is one of the most rewarding, but also one of the most difficult professions out there. To be on the forefront of instilling education and knowledge into the minds of the future is something I, for one, do not take lightly. Now, I can’t speak for every single educator out there, of course. I have first-hand experience with some people who act like little more than warm bodies in a chair waiting on a paycheck. That is one of the first and best ways to fail children – and I don’t mean on a grade scale.
Working with students is a never-ending responsibility, that much is certain, but there are an endless supply of benefits in the profession regardless of how hard it can be. Growing up in a single parent household, I did not have a full-time male role model in my home. My grandfather stepped into this role as often as he was able, and I certainly have many life lessons from my short time with him. Likewise, men from my church were crucial parts of my life, becoming friends that I am still in contact with to this day, but that’s a different story. Teachers, however, were an example that I looked up to on a daily basis. Granted, in the early and mid-90’s when I was entering the world of public education the vast majority of teachers in Tazewell, Va. were female, by the time I made it to middle school I was happy to find myself under guided instruction of some very positive male educators. Likewise, in high school I made the acquaintance of two or three men who were essential to my education and who influenced me to consider taking on the mantle of teacher myself.
Being who I am, though, I still told myself I would do better focusing on my writing because “who would want me as a teacher, anyway?” I fought that bug for several years before listening to my wife and accepting the drive I had been putting off and seeking to finish the education path I had already started in undergrad. As you all know, I started my path as a teacher of high school English in 2020, at the height of the Covid-19 epidemic. During that time I met several students who would show me how wrong I had been.
Coming to my students in an impoverished area, many of whom did not have a positive male role model at home, I saw myself in their eyes a lot. Some of them, naturally, were a bit apprehensive coming into my classroom. In this region if a student makes it to high school not liking to read, English classes are something of a sore subject for them. However, I was able to show many of them a type of literature that they did actually enjoy. By taking the time to speak to my students and get to know them, I was able to show them there is more to English and Language Arts than writing essays and reading giant British Literature novels. There is a whirlwind of education floating in the ether and, by approaching students at a level of respect and understanding, I taught them an appreciation for, if not exactly a love of, literature. More importantly, though, I showed them there is someone who cares about them.
That, to me, is the most important lesson a teacher can impart to a student, regardless of what subject they teach. Life lessons of love and appreciation, just knowing they can come into the building and have someone genuinely care whether they got a good night’s sleep or ate breakfast can make or break the day. Many of my students from my first teaching job have gone on to graduate and start families now, and I am still in touch with some of them. Knowing the things I heard some of these students being told – that they could never graduate, they wouldn’t make it in the real world, they would be better off getting a GED (and worse) – makes me disgusted. Yes, I know what you are thinking. “Did those things come from educators, from school staff, from people those students should have been able to trust?”
The answer is yes. And it is pathetic. For a student fighting to make it in this weird world life is hard enough without having someone they should be able to trust constantly beating them down. I am now in the first year working at a new school, in a new county, and it is honestly like night and day. The staff here truly cares about the students. These kids might not get the support they need at home, and they might not have expectations of getting that support at school, but I do my best to make sure they have it here. Some days, being a teacher is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but the rewards so far outweigh that struggle it’s not even comparable. Knowing a student will come into my classroom and get a smile, have a kind word, and hopefully figure out there is more out there than what they’ve dealt with so far is a lesson I couldn’t have learned if I had continued to deny my own voice.
The biggest point here, really, is simple. Kids need you. If you are considering going into education, make sure you are listening to that urge. If you are a first year teacher worrying about whether or not you can do it, whether or not you will do a good enough job – you will. The fact that you care shows you have the heart for it. If you are a teacher experiencing burnout, listen to that inner voice, but also remember all the good you have done. Students are alive and well today, excelling through this world, because of the influence you had on them. That is a lot to be thankful for. In my experience, it is the student who doesn’t realize how much they need a teacher that will gain the most from a positive one. Some days may look dark, but the real light comes from knowing you made a difference. I thank God for putting me a situation where I can do just that.
Damean Mathews 