Adventure

The Scream Heard ‘Round the ‘Verse!

/ Damean Mathews, Author / Leave a comment

I have officially completed my very first horror convention, guys! It was an excellent time, with plenty of horror merch and great things to enjoy. Let’s dive in.

In case you missed the announcements here and on my social media pages, I attended and vended my books at Screamiverse Expo in Roanoke, Virginia. First and foremost, the mere essence of being there with hundreds of like-minded horror-lovers was simply awesome. Everywhere I looked, there were spooky decorations and products, skulls and witchiness, simply amazing. Needless to say, I was definitely in my element.

One of the very first things I got to do when we got there Saturday morning was meet the one and only Eddie Deezen! Deezen, known for being the geeky, nerdy, know-it-all from so many dozens of movies, shows, and more, was one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met. Of course, being a huge fan of Grease (the first place I saw him), but an even bigger fan of the Critters movies, I was quite starstruck. Amanda was as well, mostly because of Deezen’s portrayal of Gibby Norton. We are huge Scooby Doo fans, too, naturally. Eddie took the time out of his morning to speak to us before the doors were open to the general public, smiling and talking to us for a good few minutes. Likewise, when I went back later to get an autograph and photo, I accidentally interrupted his lunch, and he was more than fine, telling me he was happy to talk to me.

The event itself was only in its second year, so many things were new to this year’s run, including a feature called Campfire Tales. This was a chance for some of the attending authors to take the stage and share bits of their work, or a story that was important to them and their craft. I got to go to one of the stages in Berglund Center and read some of my work with about ten other authors. It was a great way for all of us to get a taste for each other’s work and styles, as well as just enjoy the horror we were there to celebrate. I read the prologue to Maverip, and got good feedback. One of the other authors even told me I should narrate because he said my reading voice was calming and peaceful. I definitely appreciated that. It was great to hear and see the excitement of other authors reading work they loved, too. You could really tell from most of them just how important horror is to them.

Possibly one of the coolest things I got to do while there was see the fully restored Green Goblin head from Maximum Overdrive. As a lifelong Stephen King fan and a diehard AC/DC lover, that movie is pretty much the top of the chain for me. Getting to see, touch, and have my picture taken with the iconic Happy Toys mascot was an experience like no other. Tim Shockey, the owner of the piece, is the man who saved the goblin from a dump, where it was unceremoniously deposited in the mid-80s – a travesty and offense of the highest order that should never be accepted. I was shocked to realize how bad a shape it was in when Shockey got his hands on it. If you don’t know about that story, definitely check it out here.

Amanda, who is absolutely not a horror fan, had a good time just being in the environment, if she did have a bit of hesitation about some of the scary nature of various displays, etc. Her favorite part was easily Eddie Deezen and the animals that were there. She took several photos with the goblin head, and even held a hissing cockroach. I’m proud!

Overall, even though it was not one of my best selling events, the convention was a wonderful time, and it gives me high hopes for the similar ones I’m signed up for through the rest of the year. If you missed Screamiverse, don’t be too sad – you still have two chances to come see me and grab your copy of any of my print books this week alone!

Thursday April 23, I will be doing a local author night at Buchanan County Library in Grundy, Va., and Saturday, April 25 (MY BIRTHDAY!), I will be one of the authors doing a reading and signing at The Hatter’s Bookshop in Princeton, WV. I am super excited about these events, and I think there are going to be a huge amount fun events coming (both scheduled and still in the air), so make sure you stop by my Events and Appearances page to stay on top of the list!

Invest in What Matters

/ Damean Mathews, Author / Leave a comment

Greetings from the land of Daylight Saving Time, everyone. It has been a slow adjustment over the last couple of days, but I may be back on track by Wednesday, who knows. At least I have energy drinks and all the writing I can stand to keep me going, right? I have been hard at work on Mother Mine lately, and it is shaping up to be one of my creepier offerings in some respects. If you want to learn more about that, stay tuned here and be sure to jump over to my newsletter for some snippets and samples as the book progresses.

In addition to writing hard on this and other new and familiar works, I am currently prepping one of my Eddie Blake-related short stories for release very soon – you will want to check that one out! My plan is to have the release for that story set for Saturday, March 14, which just happens to be the date of my next event! I am super excited about this event, as it takes place at the Tazewell Public Library. It is going to be quite surreal to have a book event at the very library that helped instill and nurture my love of reading as a kid. I went to this library as often as I could possibly get there, and I have memories on top of memories of books and events there. It’s such a facet of making me who I am that I can’t wait to hopefully give back to the place in some small way.

Speaking of events, that is one of the things I have been focusing on very intensely so far this year. For the last handful of years, I have been doing almost strictly local events, which often are centered around Appalachian crafts as a whole, as opposed to the specific products or genres I work in. This year, however, I (and my amazing manager/wife/better half) have been finding a wealth of horror-themed events in which to throw my hat. The first of these is going to be Screamiverse Expo in Roanoke, April 18-19. This event is geared entirely toward horror nerds like myself, and will be an amazing time. Horror actors such at Felissa Rose and Brett Wagner will be there – not to mention the original Green Goblin head from Maximum Overdrive! I am thrilled to be a part of this event and several others throughout the year, but it has been something I had to truly dedicate myself to – with an immense amount of support and encouragement from Amanda, of course.

The local events I am used to doing have been either free or comparatively cheap in relation to the bigger, horror-themed ones I am diving into this year. Even so, those events are very hit or miss. It is fairly common knowledge, I assume, that a lot of people in the Bible Belt may not necessarily gravitate to my brand of horror and literature, least of all those who go to craft shows where Bluegrass, knife-making, and wood carving demonstrations abound. In the event I sold little or even nothing at these craft shows, it was a loss, of course, but one I could handle if it helped put my name in people’s minds. These bigger events, however, have a much heftier fee involved with being a part of them. That is a bit scary, to say the least, when I look at some events in the past where I did not sell well or at all. Like I said, though, an Appalachian craft fair is not always going to lend itself to a horror and fantasy author, whether he/she is local or not.

Horror cons like Screamiverse and Nashville Celebrity Comic Con (Oct. 9-11 this year) will likely have much more of my intended audience present, though. Knowing tons of horror-loving folks will fill the venue during these events gives me an extraordinary sense of hope that they will be wonderful for my brand and for bringing my name to new audiences. That’s where the real motivation comes in, for me. Yes, these are huge investments, but it comes down to the idea of truly seeking out your audience.

All too often, authors and artists may think they can just produce work and their audience will find them, and in some cases, this may be true. But, when you are a creative, it is important that you believe in yourself. Push yourself. Invest in yourself. You have to see that you are worth so much more than just sitting there and hoping the wind blows people into your frame of view. As terrifying as it is, bringing yourself to those new horizons, those bigger events, investing money you may have to heavily budget and account for in the hopes that it elevates your audience and attention to your work in new ways is sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself and your art. Speaking from that point of view of the scared artist who is hoping these events pan out, I also feel a huge sense of potential, of hope, for these events and for the connections I can make there. At the end of the day, just like with the local events I have attended – regardless of their overall sales – as long as I am having fun and making the most of the experience with my amazing wife by my side, it will definitely be worth it.

I think that may be one of the most important and one of the hardest things for an indie creator to accept. Self-investment is not something that comes naturally to many of us. If you, like me, have ever been told that your stories or art just “aren’t for” some people or that certain events or groups won’t like what you do, it can be hard to bounce back from the immediate thought that no matter where you go, you are going to run into that opposition. It makes it hard to feel confident in spending hundreds of dollars to buy your spot at an event where your audience could be waiting just around the corner – especially when you’ve done events where you have sat there all day and waited for a single sale, a single bit of interest, and gone home empty-handed. Or, rather, I guess it would be worse than empty-handed, because you are going home with every bit of art you left with. It hasn’t found a home. And you haven’t found a new audience.

But that’s part of the game, right? You have to be an active participant in your life, in your marketing, in your sales potential. Granted, nothing about being an indie creator is “about the sales.” I never once put pen to paper with the thought that it would make me X amount of money. I want people to read my work. To experience it. I want my words to live in people’s heads long after they finish the book, and resonate with them in ways they simply have to talk to others about. That’s the real dream. To be remembered. So you have to make the investments, friends. You have to throw caution to the wind at least one good time and see if something that seems too big or too wild could be EXACTLY what you need. I have no idea how well these events are going to do for me this year, but it will put me in my element. I will have the chance to meet hundreds, if not thousands, or like-minded, horror-loving people, and that in itself is going to be freaking awesome.

Destiny

/ Damean Mathews, Author / Leave a comment

Do you believe in fate/destiny?

I absolutely do. I have been given so many examples of fate, destiny, purpose, universal alignment, whatever you want to call it in my life that I couldn’t imagine not believing.

From my own story and life, to the way my wife and I reunited I know I am destined to be exactly where I am in this moment. Far more than the possibility of things just “happening” in coincidence, I think a universal plan (I do choose to believe it is God’s plan, but I do not and will not force that belief on others), makes the most sense.

As a caveat to that, I do believe things can disrupt, slow, or event prevent some fated events from happening. Perhaps not forever, but definitely at their originally intended times. I believe every action we take, every choice we make, every ounce of life we live has an effect on how and when our destiny will unfurl. At the end of the day, we know somewhere inside of us what we’re meant for. The real task is just being brave enough to chase it.

The Toxic Goths and Wuthering Heights

/ Damean Mathews, Author / Leave a comment

I will be the first to admit that it is a bit of a shame that I was in my 30s before I really sat down to read the epic that is Wuthering Heights. I have long been obsessed with period literature and, of course, I have done extensive work in the era of Gothic literature of all kinds. This is one that, somehow, repeatedly slipped out of my grasp, though.

With the upcoming release of the newest cinematic version of the film in all it’s Hollywood hyper-sexed looking glory, I felt it was high time to rectify that mistake. I have owned a copy of the book for a while, discovered sometime last year (or earlier) in my thrifting missions, so I dug it out and dove in around the first of the month.

I was immediately drawn in by Bronte’s writing, the dark moors and the brusque mannerisms of our good master Heathcliff bringing me immediately into the fold. Not knowing fully what to expect, the reading went fairly quickly, but I want to be very up front in saying that I found it very difficult to like … well … pretty much anyone.

From Catherine’s ever-eager and dismissively bratty nature, to Heathcliff’s very embodiment of toxic masculinity and downright brutish human evil, there was no one I could root for here. The love itself that both of them felt was one of the most powerful of literary sentiments I have read in quite some time, of course. Bronte did an amazing job of putting two unlikeable people into a situation where neither of them could win for causing each other, and themselves, to lose. Catherine’s affirmation that she could not exist without Healthcliff, despite his brutish nature and his downright blatant insistence that his own pride was more important than being there with and for her for years is intense, but also shows a lot of what is wrong with the classic literary depiction of love.

All too often in books (as well as films and, let’s face it, life itself) our female lead is drawn into a sort of infatuation with a person who is simply garbage. Why it becomes a sort of romantic rampart that women (or anyone) should cast themselves upon the blade of someone who treats them horribly, I can not fathom. It is not a good quality in a lover or a significant other that every time you speak to them it becomes a fight where you grow so faint your heart threatens to stop. Yet, time and time again, this is the standard literary love is held to. Why?

To turn in a different direction before this post takes on a life of its own filled with lectures no one wants, let me jump into Bronte’s language. It was, of course, nearly 200 years ago, but one thing that did throw me off was her repeated leaps into Joseph’s brogue. Vernacular is wonderful, and it should be held to a high standard in writing, but it does not have to be done quite to that extent. As I said, I know it was 200 years ago, but that is something that pulled from the story a lot. Any time there was an extended bit of dialogue from Joseph, or, rather, Ellen’s repetition of it, the use of heavy vernacular and nearly unintelligible language on the page made me pause several times to work out what was being said. Could it have been any different for readers when the book was fresh?

As I said, vernacular is incredibly important, and I use it myself. I understand how nice it is for readers of Southern literature to recognize a nice twang on the page, or for a Cockney reader to recognize their own twists of phrase, but for entire paragraphs to look so out of place? It was a certain grounder for me.

The story itself, coming to us in the form of a relay from our narrator who had it in turn relayed to him from someone who lived it or read it, was honestly like a bit of a telephone game. In its own right, that puts me in the mind of a bit of a potential unreliable narrator. I am a bit of a sucker for an unreliable narrator, as many of you know, so I do eat that up. With Lockwood admitting that he was feverish during much of the retelling (as well as the general malaise of being in a strange house during a winter storm in his initial “supernatural” encounter with Catherine), there is much to be said about the entire story being false or blown out of proportion. I am aware that, of course, would likely not be much of a popular opinion given the historic love of the book, but the idea that this man had a polite old housemaid telling him a story of her former masters – or even a story that she herself makes up to calm a sick man – and he blew it even further out of proportion in his retelling makes me absolutely salivate to think of.

Heathcliff. There is so much I can say about the man whom this book centers around. From a wayward youth who never quite fits in, to a man who does his best to seem the devil’s own plaything in adulthood, he oozes toxic behavior. I would say toxic masculinity, but I don’t think even Heathcliff fits quite that pathetic of a bill. He has a huge chip on his shoulder through most of the book, being more than willing to spite anyone and everyone, including his beloved Catherine, no matter what they are doing or saying to or about him. No one is good enough for him, because they make him feel he is not good enough for them more often than not. Granted, this does not excuse his behavior in any way. For, if nothing else, being treated poorly by others should show him exactly how NOT to act, but I digress.

As I said earlier, even his precious Cathy is not free from the evil Heathcliff works in the world, from his abandonment of her, to his overbearing weight of hatred that comes to Wuthering Heights and Thrushcross Grange on his mysterious return. Heathcliff is not necessarily deserving of the pain and mistreatment he is given as a lad, but he absolutely deserves every ounce of pain and punishment rendered him as an adult. To his treatment of Cathy even on her deathbed, to the way he mistreats Isabella (not even mentioning the underlying insinuations of SA and who knows what other abuse she suffers at his hand before her escape), and the way he treats every single young person in the book, he is simply an asshole. Plain and simple. King jerk of the world of jerks. That’s not to say I don’t enjoy him. He has his moments, not withstanding. Specifically his unknown background and the fact that he does somehow feel Catherine’s spirit close to him after her death. From wandering on the moors, to frequenting graveyards at night, there are redeeming elements of creep factor that I do appreciate.

Jumping on to the discussion of Catherine herself, the fact that her love was not strong enough for her to stand up for Heathcliff as a child. Or wait for him. Or look for him. Or ask her husband not to be an ass to him. Or any of the other things she could have done that might also have altered the evil man’s own reaction to the world and the people around him… it was somehow strong enough that she haunted his every moment and made him all the more miserable and sanctimonious after her death – even seemingly showing up to visually haunt him on his last day. She herself was always the prissy, bratty, horrible example of a spoiled child who refuses to budge for the world, but expects the world to bend and break for her, so it is no wonder she got her just desserts. I feel no sympathy for her, frankly.

Finally, coming full circle, the main thing I want to say is that I did enjoy the book. Despite my misgivings of the characters, the hyped up love, the disgusting character development and the painful language… It’s a book I will likely read again. While, I recognize that most high school readers would likely care nothing for the book, I do hope that I can fit it into a college course on Gothic Literature one day. Overall, the book stands the test of time in many ways, and is definitely deserving of study. I don’t know that I agree with the claims that it depicts the love story that all other love stories should be built from, but I can respect the care Heathcliff and Cathy had for each other. Maybe they just needed someone to tell them how to show it.

A Year After Knowing

/ Damean Mathews, Author / Leave a comment

It’s odd, writing this blog post, to be honest. Through most of my life, I spent more time than I should wondering about my biological dad. Where is he? What is he doing? Does he think about me? Does it even matter? Then, a little over a year ago, I got a message from a cousin that he was dead. No more chances at reconnecting. No more half-assed excuses on the off chance I did get up with him. No more confusion about whether the numbers or addresses I had were no longer valid or if I was being ignored. In essence, if he was in the ground, at least I knew where he was.

That’s a harsh reality, sure, but from a man who had never had the security of knowing where one half of his biological makeup was, it did bring me some sick comfort. I would never again have to look at a passing car and wonder if HE was in it. Never again get a hang-up call and wonder if my answers were on the other end.

What has replaced those curiosities, however, is a certainty that I won’t get those answers. My biological grandmother and uncle have made no efforts to reach out to me since the funeral I attended (where one wasn’t in attendance and one had to look at the guest book to even know who I was). Not that I really expected to hear anything.

Sure, in a perfect world, there would have been some letter he never sent, or some journal entry that talked about the choices he made. Maybe he had some explanation that was supposed to be sent to me after his death. But, no. This isn’t a spy movie. He wasn’t a man who explained himself. He was just… a bad person.

I don’t know that he stole, or murdered, or did anything we usually think classifies someone as a bad person. Nothing like that. But, I do know what he did. He lied to his child, abandoned his child. Handed over the reins to a single mother who did her best, as best she could, at least. But, as an adult, a teacher, a grown man who understands responsibilities and mental health, I can safely say he was not a good man. The choices he made may have been what he, in some way, thought to be best, and maybe they were. I have heard from more than one person with knowledge of that side of my family tree that him being a part of my life would almost certainly have prevented me from being a successful human. Maybe that is the case. I don’t know.

What I do know is what it taught me. There is never an excuse for making a child think they have done something to push you away. There is no reason good enough to choose to leave behind a kid who knows no better than to rely on you, to trust you. Disappearing from someone’s life may seem like a valid option to an extremely selfish person, but that only shows how truly self-centered you are. No matter the cause, no matter the outcome, responsibilities run deeper than that for a truly good person.

I think that is one reason I strive so hard to show my students that I am there for them. I teach in a region where poverty is the norm, where single-parent households are increasingly more common, and where some people do not know their parents at all. Because of this, I make it a point to be reliable. Whether that is through grading, lessons, or being there to listen when they are having a bad day. No student leaves my classroom thinking they are unimportant if I am doing my job right.

Should my wife and I have children, the same will go for them. No matter the lack of closure, the lack of “this is how you do things” type lessons I got from my biological dad, no matter the one-sided nature of my female-centered upbringing, I know how to be different. Scotty taught me, through omission, the exact way to be sure no child I have will feel like I did.

When I started my teaching journey almost 6 years ago, I knew the first thing I needed to do was work on those elements of trust and care. Now, teaching at my Alma Mater, I can remember (and actually work with) some of the teachers who showed me that same respect and care. It makes a difference. A year after realizing I will never know why Scotty made the decisions he did, I feel all the more confident in being the person I am. I feel I have made the right choice in building those elements of care and trust with my wife, my friends, my students, my coworkers, anyone who may need to know – even just for one day or just one minute – that they are not alone.

That’s what it all comes down to, right? No matter who we are, what we are going through, everything seems like it is just a little more bearable if we know we aren’t alone. That’s why I’m here. And I always will be for anyone who needs me.

Stephen King’s Rage

/ Damean Mathews, Author / Leave a comment

As a lifelong fan of Stephen King, it is my mission to read everything the man has published, naturally. I’ve been on that track for quite a while, but the main book that has eluded me for much of that time is the one book King himself doesn’t want the world to experience. Given today’s climate and the subject of the book itself I had been understanding of that idea, since he is (some would say ironically) a huge supporter of human rights and simply being a good person. I still have not been able to purchase a copy of this book for myself, but I did get my hands on a copy so I could finally read the forbidden tale, and I have to say…. I think the world deserves to read it.

Woah, a teacher not wanting to see a book that, at it’s base description, is about a school shooting taken off the shelf? Polarizing, right? Keep in mind, also, that I am an author and a literature lover who has an extreme hatred of censorship as a whole, but kind of. Like I said, at its base description, Rage is about a school shooting. More specifically, about the shooter himself. But there is so much more to it than that.

Charlie Decker reacts to life the way he has, in part, because he has been consistently let down and crapped on by everyone he is supposed to be able to rely on. Being a teacher at two different alternative education centers I have seen this phenomenon more than I ever thought possible in such a small community. More often than not kids are being let down by everyone they know. They are being abused, disrespected, and not being given the love and guidance that is a parent’s obligation. Which is exactly what Charlie Decker dealt with.

While Decker did have his moments of abuse and neglect, he was also very obviously suffering from not only the social pressures of being a teenager, but I heartily believe he was suffering from mental illness as well. Charlie kills two teachers in the school a couple of weeks after striking another with a wrench, causing him considerable damage. There is no doubt he was a school shooter, and before the term was used in conventional conversation. His crimes, however, were small in comparison to even some of the smallest of real world attacks in this country. So how does that influence, or even potentially motivate others to take up the gun? During the late 80’s and 90’s there were multiple students who acted on feelings of anger and hatred and performed atrocious acts of school violence that were either openly attributed to the reading of King’s book or associated with it through mere familiarity.

I can completely understand being an author who has to deal with that and having to make the difficult decision to pull your work because of it. I fully support King’s decision to remove his book based on the idea that it was harmful to others, if only because it was associated with those who made poor decisions based on their own hurt. One of the bigger things in the book that I noticed, however, was the deeper meaning I associated with it. That, of course, is one of my favorite things about literature. We can all read the same words, but they speak to us all differently. The individual interpretation of works of art can not only be different from person to person, but one person going back to a familiar work might resonate with it differently based on maturity and changes of life and attitude. I can’t honestly say what I would have thought of Rage if I had read it ten or even 20 years years ago, but I do know that now it speaks to me in a very specific way.

The book itself, to me, is not just about the fact that Charlie comes into the school with a gun and uses it. It is about the fact that he poses no real threat to his classmates. He sits down and speaks to them. What’s more – they listen. Each and every student in that room understands Charlie – save one, of course. Decker is a boy who has been dealt a crappy hand, and he doesn’t make great choices. But he is real. He is relatable. Once he sits down and really levels with his classmates many of them open back up in the same way. We learn that all of their lives are not only connected, but that many of them have judged or been judged by their peers based on public or personal opinion. Several of them discuss their own hardships and come to understand Charlie’s point of view and why he has done what he has done. If they can’t agree with his decision to shoot their teachers they can at least see that he has enough hardship in life that it has taken him through avenues that are not totally unfamiliar to them.

I think that is the most important thing to look at for this book. These students bonded with the shooter in their midst because each and every one of them have been through some of the same horrible situations. It goes to show that everyone in the book itself is an example of how we can all react differently to any stimulus. That, in my opinion, is the real genius of the book. King presented us with a story that, yes, can be taken as offensive due to Charlie’s actions. But what book can’t? King has been through an extensive list of people, creatures, dimensions, and aliens intelligences that have massacred people in enough ways to supply the writers of even Game of Thrones with some new ideas, and we still return to his work. Because he gets it. He’s real. he gives us the honest truth about the world and the crappy humans that inhabit it.

Like I said, I respect his decision to want Rage off the shelves. No creator wants to think of their work contributing in any way to something and horrendous as an act of domestic terrorism and violence. But the strength and openness in the book are among the best pieces of helpful literature I’ve seen in a long time. As a review, I have to say that I highly recommend the book. Charlie Decker is to the world of the misunderstood and abused what Holden Caulfield is to the disenfranchised youth of the world. Any student familiar with the feelings of anger and neglect associated with an abusive, addicted, or absent parental figure can gain some real insight on how not to act based on Charlie’s tale. Until the world, this country in particular, comes to the realization that violence is not the solution to their problems, I think books like Rage both do and do not have a place in popular culture. Think of it like Schrodinger’s cat. A kid who never opens that book might still walk into the school with a gun and do horrible things. But the student who reads the book and truly makes an effort to understand it may have a chance to think about his or her actions a little longer. They could see the results of Charlie’s ordeal and understand they just have to hold on a little longer, just power through for a little more time. It could be the difference in another act of violence, or a true act of peace and restraint based on knowledge.

“Peace sells, but who’s buyin’?” -Megadeth

A Nefarious Encounter

/ Damean Mathews, Author / Leave a comment

I recently got to sit down and watch the movie “Nefarious” for the first time. I’ve had it on my radar for a while and, as a fan of Sean Patrick Flanery, I knew I had to watch it. Now, like I’ve said approximately 8.2 million times before, I am traditionally not a fan of possession films, so I was a little wary of that going in. I knew, of course, the basic premise – that one of the main characters of the film claims to be a demon possessing a host body – but I risked it. And, boy am I glad I did. Talk about a thinker. In order for me to really discuss this movie the way I want to, I’m going to have to go ahead and say there may well be spoilers here, so if you haven’t watched the movie, go ahead and consider giving it a watch before reading on!

From the start, I was invested in the film and the subtle psychological tweaks the demon Nefariamus is able to make to the everyday life of those he uses. Just seeing that soft opening of the doctor adjusting his license before leaving his office and then seeing him go past the window… It honestly took me a second to make sure I saw what I thought I did. That really kind of set me up for the rest of the film. I had to know what was going on from there.

The basic premise of the movie, before I go on, is that a psychiatrist is called in to assess the mental status of a man awaiting the death penalty. The doctor has a handful of hours to talk with accused serial killer Edward Brady and determine if he is sane enough to be executed by the state. Simple enough, right? Well sure, until the inmate in question begins the conversation by saying he is actually a demon possessing Brady’s body (and the kicker from there is that he WANTS to be executed). From there the film takes several twists and turns and pushes the audience through countless instances of turmoil while we see Brady being mentally and emotionally put through the ringer – but is it really because of a demon, or is it a severe case of Dissociative Identity Disorder? That’s the thing to figure out.

Flanery’s acting skills are among the top in my opinion, and this role was one of the best of his I’ve seen. The facial tics and the manner of speaking he gives to both Nefarious and to Brady are awesome. I’m sure it’s not exactly easy to play multiple characters in the same frame, to literally code switch to a completely different personality and mannerism within the span of a few seconds, but he did it flawlessly.

The very nature of the movie was so back and forth and uncertain at times I felt like I was not only watching an amazing performance on film, but that Brady himself may well have been casting that charm over the good doctor as well. To say Brady/Nefarious was the best case of an unreliable narrator I’ve seen in a long time is an understatement. Returning to Flanery’s acting for a moment, though, I have rarely felt legitimately bad for a character like this before. The sometimes subtle, sometimes egregious things Brady goes through lend a lot of credibility to the idea that he is actually possessed – but also that the alternate identity within him could just show such an extreme hatred for the original identity that it would torture itself just to make him feel that same pain. Flanery’s portrayal of a man on the literal verge of mental and emotional break is something everyone needs to see, though. I would honestly put this movie on a list of films aspiring actors should watch in order to learn the craft and hone their emotions on camera/stage.

While a bit spoiler heavy, I won’t completely divulge the ending here. You’ll have to tune in for that (the movie is currently on Tubi and Peacock) and make your own conclusions. I do have to say, though, I came through the movie viewing from the perspective of a believer and a religious mindset and came to one conclusion. After speaking with a friend of mine who is of a different mindset I realized the multitude of interpretations one can come to here. Like I have said before, I am not one for possession films, but part of the genius of this movie is that you really have to pay attention and decide for yourself if that is even what’s happening here.

Because I am a completist at heart, once I realized the book that is mentioned in the movie is actually where the idea came from, I had to read it. The book, A Nefarious Plot, is a fairly fast read, and it can be fairly eye opening. The point of the book is to expose the horrible things humans, particularly Americans, do to one another and to humanity in general, especially from a religious point of view. It is written as though being a manuscript from the demon Nefarious and portends to explain basically how screwed up humans are and how far from God America has fallen. It is, for lack of a better term, religious propaganda, but I can also see the benefit of someone with a non-religious or alternately religious mindset reading it as well. It really does make you think about how crappy people can be to one another, regardless of politics or religion as a whole.

Anyway, if you can’t tell, I highly recommend at least watching the movie Nefarious. It will seriously put you through a mental ringer. Sean Patrick Flanery – you are amazing. No other way to put it. If you have watched the movie or if you decide to watch it based on my recommendation I would LOVE to know what you think. Be sure to comment and let me know!

Face of Horror

/ Damean Mathews, Author / Leave a comment

Happy Spooky Season, everyone!! I am super pumped to announce that I have been selected to be in the running for this year’s Face of Horror competition! Now, I know competition is pretty fierce for this one, but how stinking cool would it be for an indie horror author to win this!? The prize this year is a meet-up/ghost hunt with Kane Hodder, a photo shoot for Rue Morgue magazine and $13,000. Think how many books I can fund with that!!! Like I said, I know competition is fierce, but any and every vote helps, guys, so please make your vote count! Follow my link below and help push me to the top of this year’s contest! Round one of votes opened yesterday and I’m sitting pretty at number 2, so keep pushing and let’s see if we can’t make the impossible happen!! Please help a horror lover out!!

https://faceofhorror.org/2024/damean-mathews

Thursday Morning Thoughts

/ Damean Mathews, Author / Leave a comment

You know, this is a good question, and not one we usually answer with the full extent of honesty. As a form of greeting, it’s so easy to ask or be asked “how are you?” and get or give the standard “good, and you?” in today’s world. But how often are our feelings so simple? We are humans with complex thoughts, complex emotions, complex lives. Can that really be summed up with a simple “good?” Not at all. To be brutally honest, that’s one of the reasons students in school right now often face such a struggle with their own emotions. They have been trained, if not forthright, then at least through observation, that emotions and thoughts should be simple to categorize and explain away. So, when they start feeling actual emotions and realize how BIG they are, it freaks them out. They have no clue how to accept the fact that everyone else can simply be “good” all the time, while they feel like entire universes worth of emotion are swirling through their every waking thought.

At some point we have to ask ourselves as both a society and a species if this “how are you” routine is more helpful or harmful. Do any of us ever actually look at someone who asks that question and say “you know, I’m having a really bad day. I’m feeling a lot of things right now and I could stand to talk it out?” Almost never. The question really has become more rhetorical and continues to move in that direction the longer we ask it with such simplicity. More often than not people ask this as a simple greeting, not expecting anything other than that standard “good,” or better yet, the sarcastic “living the dream.” It has become a social call and response that merely acts to show us that we have noticed and acknowledged one another, so now let us go on about our day without any further or deeper interaction thanks. Altering society’s problems with accepting and teaching emotions and social emotional positivity is not something that can be fixed overnight, of course, but I think we could go a long way toward repairing those broken bridges if we take the time to actually ask each other how we are – and both expect and give real, honest answers. We can’t always just be “good.” Some days we might be sleepy, maybe we’re hungry, maybe we got behind a slow driver and we’re late for work and we need a minute to vent and complain. Maybe we got some really good news on the way to work and we want to take a minute to rejoice in it. Who knows. The point is, this is a very pregnant question. If any of us care to ask and answer it honestly, that is.

But anyway, I’m good today. How are you?

Daily writing prompt
How are you feeling right now?
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Anchoring in Hope

/ Damean Mathews, Author / Leave a comment

One of the hardest things about a tired morning, especially a tired Monday, is maintaining (or even finding at all) a positive outlook on the day. We all know the weekends are never long enough and the idea of a 40+ hour work week seems longest after we crawl out of bed on that first day. Granted, I won’t for a minute pretend that I’m not a morning person, as my wife will sleepily remind me of as I’m chattering away ere the sun deigns to show his fiery face over our lovely mountains. I also might point out that I tend to be even more of a night owl, with the occasional bout of mid-afternoon lethargy, but that’s a whole different story. This morning was no different.

On this incredible Monday morning I found myself waking up to a few images from my cover designer (the ever incredible Mollie Estep) for the upcoming Blood and Moonlight, and looking forward to the prospect of my second full week in the return to teaching high school English. With the plan to decorate my classroom with some old and new items as well as introduce some of my students to the dark and twisted works of Edgar Allan Poe, I was feeling pretty darn good. I realized last night while preparing for the week that, for the first time in a long time, I was not feeling any of the dread or questioning that had followed the last year and a half or more of my previous teaching job. I loved the students I worked with at that school, and the difference I made in their lives is something I am so thankful for I can’t put it into words. There were, as always, underlying factors, however.

With the job I have just started, my (hopefully) triumphant return to the world of secondary education, I feel a new and powerful positivity. I feel almost certain that I am in the right place. I love feeling that way with a job or with any task I am working on. It makes it that much easier to put your all into something you feel RIGHT about, doesn’t it? That’s kind of where my mind was as I rode the beautiful, rain-damp roads into Wise this morning, my current audiobook humming right along. I felt good. Right. As the drive went on, carrying me closer to my current home away from home, my eyes looked to the right of my vehicle, almost unguided. There, less than a mile away from me, I saw the absolutely stunning sight of an early morning rainbow. I hadn’t realized while I was driving that in the valley ahead of me, which I was about to drive into, was experiencing a rain shower. All around me the sun was beaming down on the world in wonder and magnificence, and to my right glimmered this incredible symbol of hope, meaning, and love. It couldn’t have been a better sign for me.

If you’ve been around for a while, you know I’m a big believer in signs and guidance from God and the universe. I give all credit to God for my gifts and talents as a writer and a teacher, and I can’t express enough just how thankful I am to have the blessing to be able to do these things with my life. Seeing that rainbow this morning made an incredible peace come over me and reminded me again that I am on the right path. Sometimes we all need that reminder. I’ve been hard on myself lately about how little I have been able to write this year and how some things haven’t gone the way I planned. But that’s life. I’ve always heard if you want to hear God laugh, tell Him your plans. Whether you are a believer in God or not, one thing we can all relate to is that the universe is not always one to fall in line with our intentions. Regardless of what purpose we have behind our motivations and hopes and dreams, sometimes it just doesn’t happen. And there is nothing wrong with that.

As soon as I was able to come to a quick stop I snapped a photo of the now-fading rainbow as a reminder of the powerful feelings in my mind. I’m keeping that rainbow with me this morning as I ponder over all the things that have gone not exactly according to plan to put me right where I am today. Between job changes, family issues, even changes in my education plan, things have not stayed the way I had them mapped out in my mind for quite some time now. But I have been blessed beyond measure. I have my best friend by my side every day of my life, and I could not be more thankful for the experiences we have shared – even if they have been surprises to us both at the time. Looking at all of that, and looking at the hopeful plans I have for the rest of the year I can’t help but keep thinking of that rainbow. That promise. That image that holds so much meaning and so much love for so many people around the world. In my heart and my mind, that sight always tells me I’m going to be OK. No matter what is thrown at me, no matter how hard some days may be, if I keep that image of hope and love in mind everything will be fine. I think that’s why the rainbow means so much to so many people, as well. The merging and unification of so many colors in the spectrum, so many things that nature combines so perfectly, is intended to remind us that it’s OK. Whatever is going on, it isn’t going to hold us back or hold us up forever.

What I’m trying to say with all of this is that we all need our rainbow. Whether we’re feeling positive or negative about whatever situation we’re in, we need something to remind us that good is coming or that it is OK to allow ourselves to be happy. That’s something that sometimes seems hardest of all, I think. With the amount of things that go wrong every day, with all of the trauma we all have seen or been through, the idea that it is OK to be happy can be hardest to grasp. Take it from someone who has struggled to find that permission within himself on and off for decades. Whatever is going on and whatever you have been through, it really is OK to be happy. It’s OK to have hope. Find your rainbow today, whatever it is. The world isn’t always a horrible place. I hope this message can reach someone who needs it, whether it’s today or 100 years in the future. The point remains the same for me. You matter. You are allowed to feel what you feel. And you CAN make it through the hard times. The sun will always come back out eventually.