Courage

When Anger Won’t Do

/ Damean Mathews, Author / Leave a comment

Everyone loses their shit sometimes. That’s just common knowledge. It’s not always pretty, and it definitely isn’t easy to handle, but it’s something we have all had to face at one time or another. Whether we are the person losing it, or someone is losing it on us, it is not a phase of life that brings much happiness. I’ve been dealing with some of that myself lately, and it has not been the most pleasant by any means.

Being a teacher, especially in the world of vaping, technology, and almost no accountability, is not an easy task. Day in and day out I am met with students who think they can use AI or Google to answer their questions and do their work for them – or who just think they don’t have to do it at all. Naturally, that is quite frustrating. Growing up in an era when computers were up and coming and most, if not all, work was done on paper until late high school, it’s very different to see such a disconnect from students and their work. I never would have had such a lackadaisical attitude about assignments and the future when I was that age. I can’t even talk myself into it now.

Much like students with an attitude about their work, there is a wealth of people in the world with a lack of compassion or care about those around them and how their actions affect the rest of us. Going from one place to another and seeing the amount of hate that exists in the world drives me to truly want to escape into my own shell of relaxed peace, whether that is at home with my wife or going somewhere with my wife. From one day to the next, she is the person I truly find my peace and happiness in, and there is not a minute of the day when I would change that.

Likewise, knowing the consistently rising prices we are all facing despite getting little or nothing better in return is not an easy pill to swallow. You work yourself to the bone from sunup to sunset and get no further ahead for it, no matter how many moving pieces get added to the chessboard that is life.

All of these things can be quite frustrating. Anger builds up every time the things you want out of life are hindered by the responsibilities that you see others shirking. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to recognize that is not something everyone can just ignore. Not should you. But anger, especially when misdirected, is not the answer.

As I said earlier, I’ve been coming to terms with some issues lately, with a lot of fuel keeping that fire lit and building. I have taken home more from my job than I ever have before, as I see teenagers who make little to no effort to improve their futures, who think trouble and failure are things to laugh at rather than avoid or rectify. In other words, I guess, I am truly and fully graduated into adulthood. I know what waits for these kids after they walk across that stage, and it scares me how little they seem to be grasping it.

All of that being said, I have to reach my point before it gets lost in my soapbox rant. You can’t control the world around you. You can’t control how people act, what they think, what things cost, how we are expected to live and work and survive. The only thing we can control is how we react to the situation at hand. It is a message the great minds of the world have been trying to tell us for as long as cogent thought has existed. From a religious standpoint, the Christian Bible speaks a lot about how one shouldn’t be angry, shouldn’t act in anger, shouldn’t let emotions control them. From a literary standpoint Tolkien told us we can’t control the world around or the situations we are put in, but can only “decide what to do with the time that is given us.”

I could go on, but I feel like those are solid examples of my point. To further it, I will mention that when anger takes over and we say or do things that are unnecessary, when we lash out at those who love us, it does nothing but hurt others. It doesn’t fix the issues. It shouldn’t be a common thread in anyone’s life that you have to explode before you realize you’ve gone too far. Mindfulness is a thing. It might not come easy to us all. I’m still learning it myself. The biggest thing is to recognize when anger is no longer going to serve – and the answer is probably much sooner than you think.

Invest in What Matters

/ Damean Mathews, Author / Leave a comment

Greetings from the land of Daylight Saving Time, everyone. It has been a slow adjustment over the last couple of days, but I may be back on track by Wednesday, who knows. At least I have energy drinks and all the writing I can stand to keep me going, right? I have been hard at work on Mother Mine lately, and it is shaping up to be one of my creepier offerings in some respects. If you want to learn more about that, stay tuned here and be sure to jump over to my newsletter for some snippets and samples as the book progresses.

In addition to writing hard on this and other new and familiar works, I am currently prepping one of my Eddie Blake-related short stories for release very soon – you will want to check that one out! My plan is to have the release for that story set for Saturday, March 14, which just happens to be the date of my next event! I am super excited about this event, as it takes place at the Tazewell Public Library. It is going to be quite surreal to have a book event at the very library that helped instill and nurture my love of reading as a kid. I went to this library as often as I could possibly get there, and I have memories on top of memories of books and events there. It’s such a facet of making me who I am that I can’t wait to hopefully give back to the place in some small way.

Speaking of events, that is one of the things I have been focusing on very intensely so far this year. For the last handful of years, I have been doing almost strictly local events, which often are centered around Appalachian crafts as a whole, as opposed to the specific products or genres I work in. This year, however, I (and my amazing manager/wife/better half) have been finding a wealth of horror-themed events in which to throw my hat. The first of these is going to be Screamiverse Expo in Roanoke, April 18-19. This event is geared entirely toward horror nerds like myself, and will be an amazing time. Horror actors such at Felissa Rose and Brett Wagner will be there – not to mention the original Green Goblin head from Maximum Overdrive! I am thrilled to be a part of this event and several others throughout the year, but it has been something I had to truly dedicate myself to – with an immense amount of support and encouragement from Amanda, of course.

The local events I am used to doing have been either free or comparatively cheap in relation to the bigger, horror-themed ones I am diving into this year. Even so, those events are very hit or miss. It is fairly common knowledge, I assume, that a lot of people in the Bible Belt may not necessarily gravitate to my brand of horror and literature, least of all those who go to craft shows where Bluegrass, knife-making, and wood carving demonstrations abound. In the event I sold little or even nothing at these craft shows, it was a loss, of course, but one I could handle if it helped put my name in people’s minds. These bigger events, however, have a much heftier fee involved with being a part of them. That is a bit scary, to say the least, when I look at some events in the past where I did not sell well or at all. Like I said, though, an Appalachian craft fair is not always going to lend itself to a horror and fantasy author, whether he/she is local or not.

Horror cons like Screamiverse and Nashville Celebrity Comic Con (Oct. 9-11 this year) will likely have much more of my intended audience present, though. Knowing tons of horror-loving folks will fill the venue during these events gives me an extraordinary sense of hope that they will be wonderful for my brand and for bringing my name to new audiences. That’s where the real motivation comes in, for me. Yes, these are huge investments, but it comes down to the idea of truly seeking out your audience.

All too often, authors and artists may think they can just produce work and their audience will find them, and in some cases, this may be true. But, when you are a creative, it is important that you believe in yourself. Push yourself. Invest in yourself. You have to see that you are worth so much more than just sitting there and hoping the wind blows people into your frame of view. As terrifying as it is, bringing yourself to those new horizons, those bigger events, investing money you may have to heavily budget and account for in the hopes that it elevates your audience and attention to your work in new ways is sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself and your art. Speaking from that point of view of the scared artist who is hoping these events pan out, I also feel a huge sense of potential, of hope, for these events and for the connections I can make there. At the end of the day, just like with the local events I have attended – regardless of their overall sales – as long as I am having fun and making the most of the experience with my amazing wife by my side, it will definitely be worth it.

I think that may be one of the most important and one of the hardest things for an indie creator to accept. Self-investment is not something that comes naturally to many of us. If you, like me, have ever been told that your stories or art just “aren’t for” some people or that certain events or groups won’t like what you do, it can be hard to bounce back from the immediate thought that no matter where you go, you are going to run into that opposition. It makes it hard to feel confident in spending hundreds of dollars to buy your spot at an event where your audience could be waiting just around the corner – especially when you’ve done events where you have sat there all day and waited for a single sale, a single bit of interest, and gone home empty-handed. Or, rather, I guess it would be worse than empty-handed, because you are going home with every bit of art you left with. It hasn’t found a home. And you haven’t found a new audience.

But that’s part of the game, right? You have to be an active participant in your life, in your marketing, in your sales potential. Granted, nothing about being an indie creator is “about the sales.” I never once put pen to paper with the thought that it would make me X amount of money. I want people to read my work. To experience it. I want my words to live in people’s heads long after they finish the book, and resonate with them in ways they simply have to talk to others about. That’s the real dream. To be remembered. So you have to make the investments, friends. You have to throw caution to the wind at least one good time and see if something that seems too big or too wild could be EXACTLY what you need. I have no idea how well these events are going to do for me this year, but it will put me in my element. I will have the chance to meet hundreds, if not thousands, or like-minded, horror-loving people, and that in itself is going to be freaking awesome.

Destiny

/ Damean Mathews, Author / Leave a comment

Do you believe in fate/destiny?

I absolutely do. I have been given so many examples of fate, destiny, purpose, universal alignment, whatever you want to call it in my life that I couldn’t imagine not believing.

From my own story and life, to the way my wife and I reunited I know I am destined to be exactly where I am in this moment. Far more than the possibility of things just “happening” in coincidence, I think a universal plan (I do choose to believe it is God’s plan, but I do not and will not force that belief on others), makes the most sense.

As a caveat to that, I do believe things can disrupt, slow, or event prevent some fated events from happening. Perhaps not forever, but definitely at their originally intended times. I believe every action we take, every choice we make, every ounce of life we live has an effect on how and when our destiny will unfurl. At the end of the day, we know somewhere inside of us what we’re meant for. The real task is just being brave enough to chase it.

Reading, Winter, and the Future

/ Damean Mathews, Author / Leave a comment

Greetings, all! It has been an eventful couple of weeks since my last post. I have been working tirelessly on my newest piece, Mother Mine as well as reading pretty steadily. I’ve gotten through some good books, and have also hit a string of rather “not for me” DNF titles that went straight to my eBay store (https://ebay.us/m/9MEKYC for anyone who wants to check out my long list of titles and merch). That’s one of the things about thrifting and being addicted to buying books and giving them a new home – sometimes you can’t tell they aren’t quite for you based just on the description on the jacket.

In reality, a lot of life is like that. You look at certain experiences, foods, events, places to go, and so on, and think “man, this seems right up my alley.” Then, once you get there, once you have your hands immersed in that thing or event you realize that it isn’t all you thought it would be. It’s hard to accept that something you thought you wanted is not quite it, but sometimes it really is for the best.

I’ve had plenty of things that fit that bill. Getting closure on my dad’s abandonment, working in the theatre program at my school, and going to bed early, to name a few. The thing about diving into those things, or at least the search for them, is that I allowed myself a chance. Just like reading those books that might sound cool on a whim, trying new things is important. Giving yourself over to new experiences, getting a bit of vulnerability in the day-to-day, is irrevocably important for personal growth.

What it really boils down to a lot of the time is a mix of being willing to admit that you are not already at your absolute best (who among us has no hopes of a better job, more travel, a better salary, etc.) and being willing to leave your comfort zone to get to that higher level of existence. It’s wild when you think about it. Waking up in the morning and knowing that you want to do something new, even if it may not necessarily turn out to be “better” is beautifully freeing.

You have to be willing to turn things around in life. Read the book that may not be in your preferred genre, travel to a new place or in a new way, break into new experiences and new modes of life. Don’t ever limit yourself to what you know, or what you already have. That’s not to say that you need to dig into your subconscious and find things to be unhappy about. If you can’t think of anything new you want, even if it’s just a new recipe or a new pair of pants, then maybe you HAVE already reached that new level of personal enlightenment. And that’s nothing to turn your nose up at.

As mentioned before, I’ve been working on Mother Mine, and it is going swimmingly. I broke into a second notebook yesterday and am in the midst of a scene that gives me chills. There’s something special about this one (which I think about all of my books/stories/poems, but that’s beside the point). I look very forward to sharing it with you all ASAP.

Regarding this entire post and the future element I mentioned in my title, we have been looking into new events to try selling my wares at. Amanda is the best manager, of course, and she has helped find tons of horror, fantasy, book, and nerd-themed events around us that look like great places to take my work. I’ve only been doing closer events, mostly themed around Appalachian crafts, etc., and, as awesome as that is, it doesn’t exactly open up the full potential for finding my audience. My hope is that jumping in on these horror-themed events will bring a larger audience to my writing and really get my name out there. As I get confirmation on these events, I will be updating my events page on my website, and I’d love to have as many people who read my blog come out and meet me, say hello, grab a book, and just chat about all things horror and awesome. Immense thanks to my awesome wife for her continued encouragement, and to everyone who has been supportive of my writing. Knowing I have people in my corner who understand and encourage my calling is something I call on any time I feel down about not riding the bestseller list yet. I know that God’s purpose for my life is writing, and the spread of my work and my name are about His timeline, not my own.

So, I am going to use the second snow day of this week to write more, to look at and apply for more events, and to write a new round of letters for my pen pal group. The group, although slowing in momentum a touch, is still a great experience. I love writing letters to people from as far and wide as possible, chatting about how life goes, and doing anything to break away from the world of instant gratification that has taken away the intimacy and importance of things like letter writing and written communication. Anyone interested in joining the group, please check us out on Facebook and write letters to anyone and everyone you’d like. You can go to the page here. If you want to allow everyone on the page to write to you, feel free to leave your address in the pinned comment at the top of the page, but if you want to be selective about who you communicate with, just look through that list and pick people who match your interests, etc. With luck, this group will go international and allow us to have real, classic pen pal communication. I’d love to reach out and talk to people all around the globe, so by all means, please help me do that. If you love literature, horror, fantasy, food, travel, photography, and life in general, write me! Let’s kick letter writing back into one of the most cherished forms of communication.

In the meantime, everyone, I challenge you all to do at least one new thing this week. Let yourself embrace the fun in life. And if anyone tries to get in the way, just laugh them off while you grow and live. It’ll be worth it.

A Year After Knowing

/ Damean Mathews, Author / Leave a comment

It’s odd, writing this blog post, to be honest. Through most of my life, I spent more time than I should wondering about my biological dad. Where is he? What is he doing? Does he think about me? Does it even matter? Then, a little over a year ago, I got a message from a cousin that he was dead. No more chances at reconnecting. No more half-assed excuses on the off chance I did get up with him. No more confusion about whether the numbers or addresses I had were no longer valid or if I was being ignored. In essence, if he was in the ground, at least I knew where he was.

That’s a harsh reality, sure, but from a man who had never had the security of knowing where one half of his biological makeup was, it did bring me some sick comfort. I would never again have to look at a passing car and wonder if HE was in it. Never again get a hang-up call and wonder if my answers were on the other end.

What has replaced those curiosities, however, is a certainty that I won’t get those answers. My biological grandmother and uncle have made no efforts to reach out to me since the funeral I attended (where one wasn’t in attendance and one had to look at the guest book to even know who I was). Not that I really expected to hear anything.

Sure, in a perfect world, there would have been some letter he never sent, or some journal entry that talked about the choices he made. Maybe he had some explanation that was supposed to be sent to me after his death. But, no. This isn’t a spy movie. He wasn’t a man who explained himself. He was just… a bad person.

I don’t know that he stole, or murdered, or did anything we usually think classifies someone as a bad person. Nothing like that. But, I do know what he did. He lied to his child, abandoned his child. Handed over the reins to a single mother who did her best, as best she could, at least. But, as an adult, a teacher, a grown man who understands responsibilities and mental health, I can safely say he was not a good man. The choices he made may have been what he, in some way, thought to be best, and maybe they were. I have heard from more than one person with knowledge of that side of my family tree that him being a part of my life would almost certainly have prevented me from being a successful human. Maybe that is the case. I don’t know.

What I do know is what it taught me. There is never an excuse for making a child think they have done something to push you away. There is no reason good enough to choose to leave behind a kid who knows no better than to rely on you, to trust you. Disappearing from someone’s life may seem like a valid option to an extremely selfish person, but that only shows how truly self-centered you are. No matter the cause, no matter the outcome, responsibilities run deeper than that for a truly good person.

I think that is one reason I strive so hard to show my students that I am there for them. I teach in a region where poverty is the norm, where single-parent households are increasingly more common, and where some people do not know their parents at all. Because of this, I make it a point to be reliable. Whether that is through grading, lessons, or being there to listen when they are having a bad day. No student leaves my classroom thinking they are unimportant if I am doing my job right.

Should my wife and I have children, the same will go for them. No matter the lack of closure, the lack of “this is how you do things” type lessons I got from my biological dad, no matter the one-sided nature of my female-centered upbringing, I know how to be different. Scotty taught me, through omission, the exact way to be sure no child I have will feel like I did.

When I started my teaching journey almost 6 years ago, I knew the first thing I needed to do was work on those elements of trust and care. Now, teaching at my Alma Mater, I can remember (and actually work with) some of the teachers who showed me that same respect and care. It makes a difference. A year after realizing I will never know why Scotty made the decisions he did, I feel all the more confident in being the person I am. I feel I have made the right choice in building those elements of care and trust with my wife, my friends, my students, my coworkers, anyone who may need to know – even just for one day or just one minute – that they are not alone.

That’s what it all comes down to, right? No matter who we are, what we are going through, everything seems like it is just a little more bearable if we know we aren’t alone. That’s why I’m here. And I always will be for anyone who needs me.

If You Can’t Do…

/ Damean Mathews, Author / Leave a comment

If you can’t do, teach.

We’ve all heard that through our lives in some context or another. The basic idea being that people who don’t have enough ability or gumption to perform an action or accomplish a task just give in to teaching others how to do it. Teaching others to be better than they are, in other words. As a teacher, of course, it is a common hope that this is exactly one of the things we are accomplishing – inspiring the next generations to aspire to rise above the things we have done and take the initiative to do wonderfully in their endeavors.

I’ve heard the old adage about teachers my whole life, honestly, and it has never really bothered me much until very recently. Of course, in addition to being a teacher I am also an author. I don’t ride the top of the best seller list, but I have 9 books on the market right now and plenty more in progress. I often hear positive feedback about my work, and I am very pleased and proud of what I have accomplished.

One of the people who has been something of an inspiration for me, the first published author I ever met, in fact, is another person I know who is proud of what they have accomplished. This person is someone I have known for more than half my life, and has encouraged me without fail in all of my endeavors. They are also the person who showed me just how damaging that statement about teachers really is.

While at an event this week I was working away preparing for a new school year, and brainstorming story ideas – double tasking as I have every year since I became a teacher. One of the authors who was at this event with me happened to be the very one I mentioned above, and they were doing their very best to sell books like the rest of us were. At one point a couple of teachers came over and started talking to this author, revealing that they are teachers and what they teach, as we do. The author in question mentioned her history in the school system and continued talking until the pair of educators left.

At this point this person, whom I’ve known to have some larger than life opinions before, turned to some of the authors there and said “I worked in the school system for 23 years, they don’t want me to tell them what I really think about teachers.” She went on to rant about how teachers are not able to write books and do anything other than teach and that one of the reasons she wrote the books she has is because teachers can’t and she wanted to show them up.

I was floored. Like I said, I’ve been writing for nearly 20 years and I’ve known this person for most if not all of that time. I’ve been teaching for five years and, ironically enough since teachers “can’t do it,” I have published more work since starting to teach than I ever did before getting my license. This author laughed her comments away and just went on about her day while I tried to fathom how someone could make comments that are so harmful and, frankly, so irrevocably stupid. 

All too often in this world we don’t think about the things that come out of our mouths before they spill over into the void and show everyone our true selves. It is easy to make a comment disparaging against someone else or downplaying their accomplishments. In fact, in former generations this sort of speech was pretty common in my area, as a lot of older people I’ve encountered have no qualms about calling each other “fat boy” or something equally tasteless. This author is one of that generation. I’m sure that goes without saying. The statement about teachers is also one that is far older than myself, and probably even older than she is, so it’s not a shock that she has heard it. 

The shock comes from someone actually expounding on it, stating that teachers “can’t write books” especially while in the presence of not just one, but two teachers, because my wife was right beside me – and another author who has a sibling that has taught for more than 20 years. It blows my mind how someone can have such an honestly simple-minded and senseless opinion. Granted, we all know what they say about opinions. They’re just like assholes, everyone’s got one. It’s often best to keep them to yourself, too. 

My point in all this is multifaceted, but it  starts with this: think about the things you put out in the world. Don’t talk trash about others just for the sake of doing it or to make yourself feel better. It definitely does not make you seem high and mighty, but it shows the world you think that you are.

Also be wary of who you listen to in this world. They might ultimately be a bigoted, small-minded person whose opinion of themselves is much more inflated than it should be.

Saying like “if you can’t, teach” might have started out seeming a funny quip about someone who maybe didn’t get where they wanted to with a chosen field, but it has not aged well.

Coming from a teacher who both teaches AND does – let old, false sayings die with the past like they should. Your accomplishments are not limited to or by your profession. How would the world react to it if the saying  “If you can’t play, coach” came back into more popular circulation? We all know how hopelessly obsessed with sports a large portion of the population is, especially in Appalachia. I dare say coaches everywhere would throw a fit and be on the defensive far more than teachers ever have been.

Talking down about anyone’s abilities based on their profession or their chosen vocation of any sort is not OK. It is not intelligent. It is not funny. Someone I’ve thought was a bit inspiring for a long time lost a lot of my respect this week, but I doubt they will care, even if they read this. Frankly, I don’t care enough to confront them about it and bring it up, either. It just isn’t worth it. What I will do, however, is continue to teach to the best of my ability and train the future generations to be better than I am while ALSO writing and publishing books and using the gift God gave me while hoping to hit that bestseller list one day. But, even if I don’t, I’ll still know – and so will others – that I both taught AND did. And that’s definitely something to be pleased with.

A Legend Passes

/ Damean Mathews, Author / Leave a comment

*This image is not my property or my design. All credit goes to the originator.*

Today is a hard day for nerds the world over, to be certain. Last night we got the news that the one and only James Earl Jones passed into the great beyond. It took me a bit to really process that information. This man has made impressions on so many humans across the span of the last 9 decades it’s not even possible to fathom. Looking back over my own life, there are fingerprints of his influence in every single stage of my development as a human, a nerd, an educator, and more. Jones has done so many phenomenal things, and lent his voice to two of the greatest characters in cinematic history. In this instance I’m talking not only about Darth Vader, but also the mighty king Mufasa.

I can remember from the earliest days of my childhood being wildly obsessed with the Lion King. I had posters, books, toys, a birthday cake, an entire dish set (out of which I still have the bowl) and even cassette tapes of the soundtrack – complete with James Earl Jones voice tracks. To this day I am still wildly in love with the story and message behind this film, not in small part because of the power James Earl Jones instilled through his performance.

To mention the Lion King, I also have to mention The Sandlot. Although his part was small it was still huge. Portraying a figure of startling demeanor but admirable kindness, James Earl Jones yet again was a huge part of my life in this film. Being one of my comfort films growing up, I couldn’t count the times I watched this movie alongside my mother and even my grandmother.

There is no way to ever quantify, in all of the ways I can possibly discuss it, just how much Star Wars means to me, though. I knew of the films and of Jones’s voice in the part of Lord Vader long before I watched the movies, but my first encounter with the films was in 7th grade. I had an art teacher who let me borrow her anniversary edition VHS tapes and I huddled up in my room that weekend and devoured them. Never had I seen anything so visually and mentally stunning. References that I had heard (some of which I knew already) made sense. The culture, the worlds, the LIFE inside of this universe awakened me to even bigger fandoms and more nerdy tendencies than I had ever envisioned. Keep in mind, by this time I was already obsessed with both Wolverine and Spiderman as well as The Lord of the Rings, but this was a presence like nothing I could remember.

Hearing James Earl Jones as Darth Vader, striking down the rebel forces and throwing his weight around with the force was nothing short of astounding. Granted, I know the figure inside that cloak was David Prowse, and I wouldn’t dream of taking the magnitude of that away from him, but the voice of Vader is the thing that has always made me mesmerized by the character. As someone who loves music and sounds, the baritone rumble of that powerful Sith remains to this day one of the most thrilling things to hear throughout these films for me.

I know, of course, that Jones has an abundance of other works, including one amazing film where he and Robert Duvall are half-brothers trying to make peace after a sudden death, the three I’ve mentioned are the ones where he will always live for me. I have Darth Vader figures, games, shirts, memorabilia and more, and there is nothing that will ever scream Star Wars to me as much as Darth Vader (coming out just a hair ahead of Chewy and Yoda, naturally). The world took a huge hit when we lost our Princess in 2016, but now we have also lost our deviant father. Even the Jedi mourned the loss of Vader, and I have no qualms about admitting how much it hurts to know that voice will never speak fresh words on this earth again.

To nerds everywhere, I encourage you to be openly obsessive about the things that bring you joy. Embrace the characters that make you happy. Don’t ever be ashamed of that. I’ve always loved being a nerd, and now I am more proud of that than ever. Today is a day of mourning for us all, so I say to remember the words of Mufasa and always “remember who you are.” Let us raise our lightsabers today in honor of one who paved the way for so many of us and who will NEVER be forgotten. Rest in Peace, James Earl Jones.

MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU. ALWAYS.

Who Do You Need?

/ Damean Mathews, Author / Leave a comment

Greetings and happy 2024, everyone! It has been a bit since I’ve been able to buckle myself to the keyboard and hash out a nice post to greet you all with. Partly, of course, that is due to my grad school work, and a lot of it is to do with my own mental health and just general level of business. This year, however, has started strong, and great things are coming. I declare it.

The important message on my mind today, which has been there for several days, comes from the mind of Wil Wheaton. While I was working on my thesis prep last week, I decided to tune into an episode of The Friendship Onion rather than music, and happened upon the episode with Wil as a guest. Of course, the whole episode was a lovely nerd fest that made my nerdy heart happy, but toward the end Wil said something that honestly floored me. He talked on and off about the trauma in his life and what it led him to, and Dominic Monaghan eventually thanked him for being such a passionate and enthusiastic human. Wil’s response:

“I work, on purpose, to be the person I need most in the world.”

That quote blew me away. I try to live my life with an understanding that there are billions of people on this ball of rock, and everyone’s life is different. I’m generally a good, happy guy, and I live by rule number one, which is essentially; Don’t be a Dick. Simple, understandable, easy to do. There is absolutely no reason to walk into the world and treat anyone negatively. I get that we all have bad days, but frankly, that’s no excuse to be a jerk. Everyone you encounter is living a life that is so similar, yet so uniquely different from your own, that there is no reason to bring them down.

Wil’s assertion that he makes a conscious decision to be a good, enthusiastic, big person brings me so much joy and so much thought, because it opened an entirely new world of possibilities to me. Life is literally a series of choices, decisions, and actions all based on the things going on in your own head. From the moment you wake up in the morning you have the ultimate power to be the human who can make all the positive difference in someone else’s life. That is the message that holds the most power to me. From the second your eyes open in the morning, the power of choice is with you, and your presence in the world is so heavily influenced by your internal understanding of that. You can choose to walk out into the world and be a positive and uplifting person, or you can bring negativity and anger into the world.

Frankly, the fact that there are people in the world who make the choice to bring others down with their negative garbage is one of the worst things I have ever had to understand. Granted, I have been in a negative mindset before, and I’m sure there have been days where I have not been a positive force for someone out there. For that, I am endlessly apologetic. Looking into my life from a new perspective with the real reminder that we all have the power to make the world a better place makes a big difference to me. Like Wheaton said, we each should work on purpose to be the type of person we need in the world.

Coming from a background that does contain trauma, with a life that has been touched and affected by depression and anxiety, I can tell you first hand that the way people around you act and behave toward you does have a very heavy effect on your mindset. Think about that, guys. Approaching someone, especially a stranger, knowing little to nothing about what they are already going through, but hitting them with anger and negativity is a harsh and irresponsible action like no other. Why should anyone feel like they have to right to bring someone else down? Should we, as a species, not feel like we have a responsibility to make the world a better place? Should we not make an active effort to help and bring our fellow man up, not tear them down?

That is the challenge I want to issue to everyone today. From the moment you wake up in the morning, think about the way you are going to approach the world. Think very presently and thoroughly about the type of person you want to be in the world. Do you really want to be responsible for making someone else’s life worse? If you do, then allow me to be the first to publicly tell you that you suck. Truly. You deserve to stub your pinky toe every single time you walk for the rest of your life. Just endless pinky toe pain. I lay that curse on you now.

But really, everyone, think about it. It’s a true and honest life-changer. Just be intentional. We all know there are bad days, and there are good days, but the thing that really needs to be considered is just how much good you can spread in spite of that. I’m not saying be fake. Don’t get me wrong. All I am saying is that we have the chance to make sure our own bad days do not make anyone else’s worse. If we can make the real decision to help make sure someone else does not have a bad day just because we are having one, just think about the difference that can make. For that matter, think about the kind of power we have to influence positivity on a good day!

In essence, friends, just be a good human. It is all about making conscious decisions to not harm others, whether that be physical or mental, and bringing more happiness into the world than we take away from it. What are your thoughts on that? Can you think of a time when you made a conscious decision to bring positivity into the world, despite having a bad day? Or maybe a time when you did the opposite? Feel free to share those thoughts and experiences. In the meantime, keep up with your creative endeavors and follow me on social media to stay up to date on mine. I am working to build my events list for the year, and I have a few lined up already, so head over to my event page to check them out. I look forward to interacting with everyone!

It’s Never Too Late

/ Damean Mathews, Author / 1 Comment

As another school year winds to a close, another birthday passes, and May looms ahead on the road of life, I have to say things have been quite a whirlwind already this year. I managed to finish one novel, some poems, a couple short stories, and got tons more ideas. I have gotten several wonderful local opportunities, including being the first author featured in a local art gallery (St. Paul Va Small Art Gallery in St. Paul, Va), and I feel truly humbled by the immense support I’ve gotten from those who follow my writing and photography. On top of that, I have the undying support of my amazing wife, and we have gotten to go on several adventures this year that we will never forget. In all, life is good. The positive definitely outweighs the negative, and I thank God for that every day. It is because of His blessings I have the talents and passions that I do. I am incredibly thankful for everything I have and I want to make the most of these chances.

In light of that, I have to admit there is one area of my life I have long wanted to improve, to grow. My college experience is something that holds a huge place in the journey of making the man I am today. It was there I met my wife, where I first got to work in journalism and the creative arts for a meaningful production. But something still felt incomplete. I completed my Bachelor of Arts program nearly ten years ago and I have had a wealth of career opportunities based on it, but I also have a strong desire to do more. My love of the written word goes deeper than I can even explain without ranting for hours on end. My dive into literature was the deepest it has ever been during my undergrad experience, leading me to have a paper included in the COPLAC undergrad research conference in 2013. That feeling was always exhilerating and after graduating I have wanted to experience that deep educational dive again. It’s easy to say it was high school that helped me narrow my focus to literature, but it was college where I feel that love blossomed to a never-ending obsession. Because of that I have always felt a desire to teach at a college level and be involved in higher education. In short, I have always regretted not going on to get my Master’s Degree.

I’m proud to say I no longer have to feel that regret. As of April 26, the day after my 32nd birthday, I have officially been accepted into a graduate program at Liberty University. I will be completing a Master of Arts in English Literature through an online program, and I could not be more excited. I could also not be more nervous. Short of a few continuing education classes to maintain certification to teach high school, I have not been on the recieving end of formal education for nearly a decade, so the idea is a little daunting. Regardless, this is a venture I have been wanting to take for a long time, and I finally kicked myself into gear and got it going. I am beyond excited for this and I can’t wait to see how it goes.

In addition to furthering my education I am still working endlessly on spreading my name and my art far and wide both in the Appalachian region and beyond. I have recently grown to more than 610 likes on my Facebook author page and had a fun giveaway opportunity there and I am ever growing in my viewership on TikTok and other apps. To say I am blessed to be given this platform and my talents and passions is an understatement. I offer another huge thank you to everyone who supports and encourages me in all of my adventures, from education to beyond. The underlying message behind all of this is simple, and one that we might hear a lot but not always listen to. It is never too late. I’ve been out of school for nearly ten years and I’m going back. I come from an impoverished region where many of the people I have known are either in the grips of addiction or know people who are, and I rose above. There is no obstacle too big, no desire too great, no end too impossible for you to overcome. Especially with prayer and God on your side. I fully respect everyone’s right to a religion, or a lack of one, but that is my own experience talking. I rely on God, I’m thankful to God for all I have, and I feel like that is the right journey for me. Overall, I must press the fact that if you have a desire (as long as it is a good desire, and not one to harm yourself or others -i.e. Asimov rule one) you should chase it. Dreams are powerful, and we have them for a reason. No one is exempt from that. Walt Disney said “If you can dream it you can do it,” but I think no one says it better than Dr. Frank N Furter:

“Don’t Dream It, Be It”

Returning Home

/ Damean Mathews, Author / Leave a comment

Greetings and Salutations, everyone! We are growing ever closer to the spookiest time of year, quickly chased by the merriest time of year. In other words, I am absolutely in my element! I have been immersing myself in all things horror for the last few weeks, as opposed to the rest of the year when I immerse myself in all things horror. It’s very exclusive. As I near another busy time of year, filled with events and signings and all manner of awesome opportunities to meet you all, I have to tell you about the most recent one.

On October 9th I was honored to do a discussion and reading in my beloved hometown of Tazewell, Va. Being from said small town, the Appalachian tradition of ‘coming home’ took on a new meaning for this event. The Tazewell Historical Society asked me to do the event, which was held in the recently revamped and reopened Tazewell Train Station, formerly known as ‘the old depot.’

The old depot had been abandoned, just sitting in its historic spot, going back to the earth for years, decades even. Fading, dirty bricks, boarded windows and doors, vines crawling up the sides with reckless abandon, the building was exactly something that would inspire this little horror lover’s heart (and there may or may not be something in the works based on this). The coolest thing about this is the fact that I lived less than a quarter mile away from the building. I passed it every time I was going home, every time I left to go anywhere. It was always a figure of history that loomed on the edge of my vision, and instilled curiosity consistently. I may or may not have tried various times to take a peek inside the building, with never a spark of luck, so this was an even more interesting opportunity.

Needless to say when I was asked if I would be interested in doing a presentation on Appalachian Myth and Legend, along with a reading of some of my work, I leapt on the chance. The fact that it was going to be held in the depot building was just icing on the cake.

To prepare for the event I examined much of what I already knew of myth and wives’ tales that exist in Tazewell. There are a fair number of those, but one that has always interested me is that of Devil’s Slide Cave, otherwise known as Higginbotham #1. Supposedly farmers that live and work near this cave, which rests just off the road at the foot of a mountain, have heard moans and cries of unknown origin coming from within. Animals that get too near the cave are said to die soon after or simply disappear. A group of spelunkers and cave mappers went into the cave and reported a sinkhole not far from the entrance. Once they made their way down they went several miles in (I’ve heard they may have spent as much as two days within, but I’m not sure of that part). Eventually they found another dropoff and began hearing the sounds they had been told about. They lowered themselves down to the full extent of their equipment and reported that they couldn’t quite reach the bottom, although they could see it. The group claimed to have seen a set of heavy iron doors at the bottom of the hole, through which the sounds of Hell itself could be heard and a great heat could be felt. I’ve heard the tale several times throughout my life, but I have never gotten to explore the cave, as it is on private land.

Being a lover of all things lore and myth, I made the connection here with the Devil’s Looking Glass in Erwin, Tn. and several other evil seeming legends, of which there are no shortage. The group of people that showed up to listen and converse with me were fantastic, and it was honestly an amazing event. Looking back on it, I can’t imagine how I could be so blessed to be able to experience that thing of wonder, the Appalachian Homecoming. Getting to present some of my work and my research, an object of my passion, that close to where I spent some of my most formative years – in a home that was and is still passed down through my family I might add – is nothing short of a blessing that I am ever so thankful for.

That, I think, is something we all sort of hope for. To be able to return to our origin with our story strapped to our back, not in an act of desperation, but an act of triumph. To be able to return home and say “look at what I’ve done. I’m here because I WANT to be here, not because I have to be.” It is a feeling of success and achievement that I hope I can always keep with me. Having a passion for the arts is by no means an easy journey, and it does not often come with the sort of instant gratification the world is growing more and more used to, but this truly makes me feel like I am on the right path. I have had my ups and downs lately with my work, especially while striving to revamp my website, up my market presence, and make myself more widely known. Sometimes it seems like I’m just pounding my fists against a brick wall, hoping against all odds to bring it down. On the bad days, it seems this is a futile attempt, but on the good days, every now and then, one or two of those bricks come tumbling down. These last few weeks, those bricks are tumbling, and I can’t be more thankful for that.

I know, of course, that every journey is one of ups and downs. As happy and successful as I feel this week, I may end up feeling just as unsuccesseful next week, but the key and point of this post, is that sense of failure, that ever-present nag that is imposter syndrome, is false. Your journey is always successful as long as you don’t give up on yourself. You have to push through the bad days, the low times, the negative commentary, and realize that these are merely speedbumps. Tests. They are nothing more than life’s way of making sure you don’t get moving too fast or flying too high before you slow down and take a tumble. Your time of ultimate achievement, your moment in the spotlight, will absolutely come. But no amount hemming and hawing, whining and crying, forcing and threatening will make it happen. It will happen when you have overcome those obstacles and truly have everything you need to embrace the big finish.

So, my advice, as always, is to keep going. Push through the pain, the bad days, the sadness. Never let a road block cause you to come to a full stop. Turn the wheel and seek out a different path. Have faith in yourself and your journey. Fight your way through the hard days and enjoy every moment of the good ones. Most importantly, remember those good feelings and use them to keep you motivated through the bad. One day, you too may have that storybook ‘homecoming’ and it will be a moment you can definitely be proud of.

If you need anyone to talk to or motivate you through those hard times, I am always available as well. You can find me on social media, use the contact page on the site, comment on a post, or use any other method you can to reach out to me and I’ll be happy to help any way I can. Also, my amazing wife filmed my presentation at the depot and I have since uploaded it to Youtube. You can watch it here, if you’re interested. Have a great rest of the week, everyone. I look forward to hearing from you!