Who are “You” when no one is looking?

Hey there friends and fans! It’s been a great start to the year so far. I’ve been on track with a number of projects, and have some big announcements coming soon. One thing that I have been immersing myself in of late is the world created by the astounding author Caroline Kepnes. Recently I discovered the Lifetime/Netflix series “You,” based on the novel of the same name. It absolutely blew me away. The narrative is incredibly tight and it has a quality that I am enthralled with. Upon watching the series in less than 36 hours, I found the novel and its sequel and consumed them ravenously. The story of Joe Goldberg is one that is not at all for the faint of heart, but it is one that is ultimately incredibly rewarding to dive into. Needless to say, I absolutely had to discuss it with you all.

First and foremost what I have to emphasize is that, with Joe, Kepnes creates a character that is equal parts antagonist and protagonist. Joe starts out being a little odd, maybe slightly creepy, and jumps rather quickly into being an obsessive, terrifying individual. A mild-mannered bookstore manager by day, Joe Goldberg lives his life for the books at Mooney’s Rare and Used Books. His life is interesting but generally unremarkable – until Beck shows up. We watch the instant change in Joe from his first lines to his rapidly growing obsession with Beck, and with it we find ourselves both wanting him to succeed and wanting him to get what’s coming to him for the things he does.

I think one of the things I love most about “You” is the first person perspective. This almost stream-of-consciousness tale put its roots in my brain and dug deep. The series and the book both allow us to have a direct line into Joe’s mind. Much of the story is Joe talking in his mind, directly at Beck. He is an individual who I would classify as a megalomaniac with bi-polar tendencies – and I love every second of it. Joe’s need to be one with Beck and his determination to see this love story blossom is both refreshing and terrifying. Once Joe sees Beck and gets the hint of flirtation from her, he becomes a man on a mission that will literally do anything to make her his. Or, rather, from that moment on he thinks of her as his, and he will do anything in his power to make sure she realizes it as well.

One of the things I found to be most incredible about Joe was his idealism about the world. From his very first words to the final page of the novel, Joe is a person determined to make the world work for him and only him. It’s a quality that many people envy, to be honest. Once he gets an idea in his head he won’t stop at anything until he makes it happen. Granted, sometimes that means there will be one less pretentious, privileged, rich kid in the world, but it also sometimes means that the person he wants to help gets helped. No matter what Joe does he is certain the world should be working in his favor and any time that doesn’t happen, he gets falls into a rage that leads him down an ever more dangerous path. His obsession with Beck is what fuels and runs the story, but I think it’s his ego that makes it resonate so realistically for the reader. We all know someone who thinks that everything in the world is a direct reflection on their life. Everything is either happening specifically for them – or specifically against them.

One difference between the series and the novel was Joe’s neighbor, Paco. I have to admit that I was waiting for the kid to slip into the novel for quite a while before I realized that he and his stepdad were just added for the show to, I assume, play more into the quality I mentioned a moment ago and show that Joe isn’t necessarily all bad. It gives him a more human and less sociopathic quality to see him work for the benefit of another person. Another thing I enjoyed was the shattered and disjointed nature of his flashbacks, both of Mooney and Candace. In the books these memories are much less intense and don’t play as much into the current nature of the story in some ways, but seeing that part of Joe’s life is something that allows us to see the damaged way he has grown up. In essence, it’s a way for the reader to see that Beck didn’t create the person Joe is in the story, but that he was already traveling down that path.

I do have to admit that in both the series and the book I was not exactly heartbroken to see Beck fall. Joe upheld her in his mind and made her almost a goddess, but the whole time she was just as self-serving and uninteresting a person as she could be. From her cheating with her therapist – which was admittedly overplayed in the series – to the distance she placed between her and Joe I was repeatedly stumped as to why he idolized her to such an extent. Granted, I do think her fate was a little drastic on Joe’s part, I can’t even pretend to act as if the way he made it happen wasn’t at least a little ironic. But that’s another thing I love about the character. He’s a heck of a smart guy, and when he puts his mind to it, he can really overcome almost any obstacle in his way to achieve his goal. In that way, at least, I think he’s someone we can all learn a bit from. Obstacles are meant to be tackled, right? Granted, in everyday life, we should probably do it a little less murdery.

Overall I was incredibly impressed with the series, and more so with the novel. I do have a bit of regret that I discovered the series first, but I was able to rectify that by tackling the sequel “Hidden Bodies.” I think Joe Goldberg should fall in line with some of those great, if a bit unreliable, narrators of literary history like Salinger’s Holden Caulfield and even Fitzgerald’s great Nick Carraway. He is someone who has a solid, if skewed, view of the world around him, and who is not at all afraid to get his hands dirty to make his own vision a reality.

I am quite excited to see season 2 of You, although I have no delusions that it will fall at all in line with Hidden Bodies, especially given that interesting ending we saw in season 1. One thing I do know – Joe will most definitely discover Love.

I hope you guys enjoyed Joe’s story as much as I have, and I hope you’re awaiting the third book as eagerly as I am. As I mentioned earlier, Kepnes’s writing style has dug itself into my brain and sparked a first person story that I’m excited to develop. As always, keep your eyes open for big news from me as well as more reviews and all things literature and awesomeness. Share this with anyone you think will enjoy it, and feel free to jump in on the conversation. Have a great week, everyone, and keep doing what makes you happy!

*The featured image for this post is from a recently released cover of the book, a snapshot from my reading experience.

13 Reasons Why

I hope everyone took the time to read this awesome book by Jay Asher. I honestly felt it was more than just a novel; it was an experience. Asher uses Clay to take us on an insane journey through Hannah Baker’s life and, ultimately, death. I finished this book much quicker than I thought I would and I don’t think I’ve been quite so invested in a YA novel in a long time.

From the first page I could feel the pain and angst Clay was experiencing. The writing in this book was more or less what you would expect, coming from the perspective of a teenager.  It was very conversational and relatable. At first the feeling of trepidation was almost tangible. I could almost put myself in Clay’s shoes as he put that first tape in the player and heard Hannah’s voice come out of the speakers. The feeling of shock as he realized just what he was listening to is still with me.

I loved reading as Clay wrestled with whether or not to actually listen to the tapes. The idea that there could be literally anything on them, that he had absolutely no idea what effect he had had on Hannah’s life, was one of the most intense things in the book. With the turn of every tape, with every new detail Hannah expressed, Clay’s tension got greater and greater and I felt like I gripped the book tighter and tighter. Seeing the pain his friends and classmates caused and knowing what the result of that pain was made Clay all that much more tormented by the tapes.

One of the most important things the book really brought to light is the real and true effect that our actions can have on others. To hear the description of how the actions of Hannah’s classmates lead her to make the decision she did was really astonishing. As someone who (believe it or not) is just over half a decade out of my teens, I remember things like what Hannah described happening in my school. Casual discussions of who was the most attractive, who was into whom, rumors of which girls (and guys) did what and with whom – those especially – were everywhere in high school. Unfortunately, some of it even lasted through to college, but that’s a whole different story. Really seeing what effect those things can have on someone is hopefully eye-opening to anyone who feels they need to do such things.

As Clay got to his own story, the feeling of relief he felt at knowing that his own page in Hannah’s story was actually a relatively good one was seriously heart wrenching. Seeing the words on the page was almost like watching a movie. For the most part with large portions of this book it was always like watching a film that words couldn’t compare to. I know that’s an odd way to put it, but hopefully some of you understand.

The last bit of the book was insanely powerful. Clay kept listening to the tapes despite the intense pain he was feeling over the matter. He talks so much of how he felt he could love Hannah, may even have loved her before she killed herself. The biggest thing that hurt him with this tale is knowing her whole story, knowing what else had happened to her. Seeing him continually wonder if there was something he could have done to save her, seeing him practically begging the universe for a second chance for her, was heart-breaking. Anyone who has lost someone – to suicide or not – knows this feeling. I think the stage of life you are in has something to do with just how hard it hits you, as well. While I was in high school I actually lost someone who was very special to me, and I took it very hard. Although it was not a suicide I wondered why it happened, what more could have been done to prevent it and if similar situations could end differently.

I think the main point this book brought forward to me is the way people process what happens to them, what is said about them, what we can do to change that and how wide our circle of impact really is. So many people are effected by anything and everything we say or do, and I feel like we really don’t consider that most of the time.

With this book, I don’t think I really had many complaints. Given that it was a YA novel, told from a first person point of view, there were things that you had to attune yourself to with the tone of the writing and the voice of the author, but it definitely didn’t take away from the story. I guess my biggest complaint would be that, for a good portion of the book, I was hoping it would be revealed that Hannah hadn’t actually killed herself. I hoped that on the last tape she would explain that, despite the problems she’d faced, the pain others had caused, the rumors they’d told and the suffering she’d experienced she was going to rise above. I hoped to hear her say she had asked her parents to take her to another town, that she had decided to run away, that her death had somehow been a hoax, but it didn’t happen. Her final words affirmed her plans and ended the 13th part of her story, leading to that mentally taxing scene with Clay falling asleep listening to the static of the other side of the final tape.

Basically, this book was enlightening, incredible and educational. I think anyone and everyone would benefit from reading this awesome work. I chose this book because one of my high school English teachers asked me to look into it and it has been on my radar for a while. It’s a book that her students have been interested in, but she was worried that it may glorify suicide and cause problems. If anyone is worried about this, I’m glad to say I don’t feel like it glorifies suicide in any way. I think the book serves as a warning for our behavior and the pain and problems it can cause. In addition to being a warning for us to monitor our behavior, I think it also serves as a bit of a warning to anyone who  may be considering suicide. It shows the reader that suicide, like rumors and other painful things, has an effect on everyone around us. Although the pain of life may be over for one who commits suicide, the hole we create by not being there is still very much a problem for those we leave behind.

Finally, Asher tells the story without really using the word suicide very much. I thought this was a good thing. It made the act as well as the word seem almost taboo. While telling the story, he shines a light on some of the common signs exhibited by those considering suicide. He even mentions a list of signs of suicidal thinking, which can be found online here; http://bit.ly/2mrmpWD among other places.

I couldn’t do a post like this without saying I can’t stress enough that if you are considering suicide, you have to find the light in life. As someone who has been there, I can definitely say that, if you look, you’ll find many more reasons to live than you could ever find to die. Suicide is final. It is not a way out. It is not good. It can’t solve the problems, it can only cause so many more…

Anyway, that’s a post unto itself as well. I hope you all enjoyed this book as much as I did, and I really look forward to reading your thoughts on it. My announcement for the next book in the book club will be posted on or around Tuesday. Leave me suggestions in the comments or send them to me in a message. I want to know what you guys want to read and discuss! Share this as far and wide as you can to get a lot of eyes on it. There are a lot of people who could benefit from reading this book, and hearing that it’s not a terrible representation of the issue might help them get motivated. Thanks for reading with me, and I look forward to seeing what’s next!