For a long time I didn’t realize just how these things could influence the way I look at the world around me, but as I’ve matured it seems more and more I reflect on them. It’s definitely not a stretch of the imagination to say my happy memories and experiences have made me in large part who I am today. Between traveling and being with my wife, to writing and attending conferences, I can look back on those things and see how I want more of them. So far as life events, that can be both good and bad, of course. My wedding, our first (and every subsequent cruise), my first day teaching at my school, all of these things have a profound positive influence on me. I can see the benefits of keeping those memories close to my heart and I feel that it helps me to grow and improve as a human.
On the other hand, the loss of family members, bad days, and sad events are just as important. Coming off the loss of my biological father, I can definitely say the entire experience of a 30+ year bad relationship with him to literally not knowing who he was as a person as I looked into his coffin, has had a profound effect on me. Not in the least it shows me more than ever how important it is to maintain proper mental health, and to let those who matter to you know how you feel. Perhaps, by saying nothing, he said all he needed to, which is fine. For the rest of us, however, we can use events in our lives – both good and bad – to improve on ourselves and our abilities and generally take life lessons forward that will make us better and happier if we let them.
Damean Mathews 