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The Influence of Doubt

/ Damean Mathews, Author / 1 Comment

As I said in the comments of my last post, doubt can be a very detrimental thing to a writer, but it can also be very powerful. As artists (and human beings in general) one question that is likely going to come up time and time again while we do our work is “why”. It’s a simple enough word, a simple enough question, but the answers to it almost never are. When it comes to something that we are passionate about, asking ourselves why can be the difference between succeeding and failing miserably, achieving a goal and fall short, and happiness or a permanent sense of failure. You might look at that statement and think I’m being a little dramatic, but think about it. How many times have you stopped yourself from doing something just by asking yourself why you would do it, or what good would come of it?

Have you ever attempted to take on a task that you felt strongly about and then gave up on it because you questioned it? I’d be willing to bet we all have.

Whenever we are presented with a thought that develops into a real desire we must consider everything about the possibility before us. Whenever I am getting the idea for a new piece settled down and trying to hammer out the details one thing I try to look at is just how well I think I can develop a piece about the particular topic at hand. When I started writing Maverip (the magnum opus of my budding career) I felt very confident in the work I was doing. Having been a lover of the paranormal my entire life, with a particular interest in vampires, working on that piece just felt RIGHT.

Speaking from the point of view of someone who has completed many other works since the start of that series I can easily say that it doesn’t always feel that way. Sometimes you get an idea and you can feel that the idea is just absolutely awesome but once you sit down to actually work on it you question your ability to do it correctly. This is often the case with some people, unfortunately. We will begin a new project, perhaps one that is just outside of our comfort zone or slightly off center from our typical line of work and we will be plagued by the thought that, since it isn’t the same thing we always do, we will be unable to make it work for one reason or another. Often my own bit of doubt is that, upon completing the piece, whomever reads it will absolutely hate it and I will be little more than a failure. In the case of Maverip my doubt has really only kicked in fairly recently, but it is that I won’t be able to make a convincing argument for my piece and that, either in the advertising of the book or with the presentation itself, I will fall short and no one will take the time to check it out. But that is a different post as well.

Regardless of whether or not you feel doubt, the real clincher is how you react to it. So often people will just give up and stop the work the second they get that first hint of doubt. This is one of the most self destructive behaviors I have ever seen. Doubt acts as a cautionary emotion for us, guiding us in the right direction and helping ensure that we don’t take the task at hand too lightly. Unfortunately people don’t always see this. I have spoken to a number of people who have had the desire to do something, be it writing or painting or any number of other things, that have never acted on the desire because they doubted themselves, feeling that they would never be able to perform their desire well enough to suit others or consider themselves a success. This is rubbish. When looking at doubt one must never allow it seep into their psyche to the point that it interrupts the passion that is kindled there. This is such a terrible waste of talent and opportunity. As a matter of fact, for those readers who have a religious background, think back on the parable of the talents that we are told in Matthew 25; 14-30. Three men are given talents and each of them treats the gifts differently. Two of the men use the talents given and get more in return, gaining the favor of their master, while the third buries his, not using it for anything and returns it to his master alone.

The basis of this story is one that can easily be rendered applicable even to those who don’t look at the religious aspect (or choose to adhere to a different belief system). Basically what it says is that when you have something and you don’t use it, you get nothing from it. Would you buy a car just to put it in the garage and never look at it or drive it? Would you buy a house just to let it sit on its plot, never lived in or used? Would you buy food just to let it rot and go to waste with no intention of touching it? The answer to those questions was likely no, right? If not, I’m personally glad someone with such a financial blessing is reading my blog, but I must discourage the behavior! The same mindset should be applied to this. If we are so blessed to have a passion for art (or anything really) we cannot allow ourselves to be discouraged!

Doubt can be one of the scariest things you can experience as an artist of any kind, but it is also well worth the fight. If you give up on a project every time you doubt your ability or the possible outcome of your efforts, chances are you will never know what you are capable of. However, if you push through the mire of this heavy and scary feeling it can be replaced with the satisfaction of completing the work in question and having it taken beyond where you thought it could go.

By pressing through the doubt the weighted me down for the days before sending it, I was able to see my very first piece in print in a small, nonprofit circulation five long years ago, and I haven’t looked back since. Such is the case with many incredible talents. Even the horror master himself, Stephen King, was plagued with such doubt that he threw the manuscript for Carrie in the trash. His wife retrieved it and, after looking through it, convinced him that, rather than giving up, he should trudge on. She recognized the potential in the work (as well as the man himself) before he even did. Carrie went on to become King’s first published novel and has since had three movie adaptations, one spin-off sequel and countless stage performances. And it was literally plucked out of the trash.

The rewards for overcoming doubt often will vastly outweigh even the harshest of situations in which the doubt can be proven to hold even the most minimal amount of truth. In reality, if we finish a work that we have some doubt about and move forward with the process of getting it out there, what’s the worst that can happen? Someone won’t like it? Big deal. There are over seven BILLION people on this (that’s 7,397,799,570 people  at the time of writing this for those of you that want exact numbers). There is bound to be AT LEAST one person out there who likes the work, who is thankful you finished the work and who may even be inspired by the work. The bottom line is, even if your work only truly touches one person, that’s still one person who is better off because you didn’t give up. That’s one person whose life or confidence may be saved because you pushed through your own sense of doubt. And you tell me; isn’t that worth the battle?

Feel free to add your thoughts to this post or send them to me in a message. I love getting to hear all of your thoughts on these blogs! Until next time remember; don’t give up- embrace your doubt. Trust me, it’s worth it.

 

 

How Did I Get Here?

/ Damean Mathews, Author / 6 Comments

One of the things that I have been asked multiple times on my (albeit short) journey as an author is “How did you become interested in writing” or “What inspired you to be a writer”. Now I’ve answered the question a few ways, always trying to keep the answer short and sweet for those who don’t want to hear my whole life story, but I think a good way to help me relate to everyone would be to share a larger bit of the story here. I hope that once you all read it you’ll be inspired to share your stories with me in the comments or through a message so I can know you all better as well.

I barely remember a time when reading and literature weren’t a huge part of my life. I’m actually not sure that was ever the case. I basically was born with a book in my hand. From the time I was old enough to string the letters together in my head and make words out of them I’ve read anything I could get my hands on. I can remember some of the books I had as a child (that I am extremely angry I lost somewhere in the haze that is “growing up”) and the fact that I always had people supporting me in my love of the written word. So much so that I  was reading Stephen King’s “IT” in the third grade, reading on a college level before even nearing puberty. This is very easily something I thank my mother for. She encouraged me in my reading and bought me just about any book I wanted- granted, she wasn’t all that happy that I was a King addict at such a young age, I was a very insistent young man. I can easily say that, without her encouragement, I wouldn’t be the writer I am today.

That’s not to say that I don’t feel God had a hand in my talent and skill, because I do. I do think that, had my mother not played her part and encouraged me to read, that my journey to being an author would have been much more difficult. But from the time I could read well I did it with a passion. This eventually lead me to writing down little short stories and trying to make up characters. I remember at one point that I actually attempted to not only write out a (slightly altered) version of one of my favorite movies but I tried to write a sequel to one of my favorite Stephen King stories. This, of course, was the true beginning of my writing career.

Before too long I was ecstatic to say that I had my first moderately original ideas (although now I would be hard pressed to remember all that much about them) and went into high school with a couple of extra notebooks in my backpack. My first lesson in maintaining my writing in a strong and durable form came when, after a few days of particularly grueling homework that kept me from writing, I pulled out my notebook to find that the pages had rubbed together so much they had literally worn my words into a greasy black mess. My first rookie mistake; I had tried to write a story with a pencil.

I quickly learned how big of a mistake that was and moved on to a pen. I wrote all of my material out by hand because at that time I didn’t really have a computer or a working knowledge of Microsoft Word that would allow me to do anything different. As life went on I kept reading, but eventually the story ideas that had begun fizzled into nothing. This would likely be due to a combination of things, the passing of my grandfather for one, that lead to a bit of a difficult time in my young adult life. I dealt with my issues in my own ways and this lead me down a new path as well, pushing me more in the arms of the books I loved and giving me ideas of travelling all over the world.

As for my writing, I remember the day that things changed for me. I was dealing with a dark day in my life when my brain was suddenly filled with the idea for a novel. I felt the plot run through my mind; the highs, the lows, the whys, the climax and the facts that would bring most of it together. I was somewhat astounded. Without much hesitation I grabbed a notebook from my room and began to write what I knew, outlining parts of the story I had seen and writing the prologue that seemed so vivid it was like I was living it. As I finished the last line in that portion of this new story idea, I realized without a single doubt that this was my purpose. This was what I wanted. I decided on that day that I wanted nothing more out of life than to be a professional author.

This was around the beginning of my junior year of high school, if memory serves. I worked on that novel and developed the story, only letting one or two people know anything about the piece itself, finding the ideas for other stories and novels flickering through my head at the slightest whim, some of them insisting that I drop everything and write them immediately. It was the following Summer that I got the idea for my most loved project (Maverip) and began going down that long road as well- but that is a story for another time.

My life was seriously changed on that day almost ten years ago, and I couldn’t be happier with that. I know now without a doubt that writing is exactly what I was made for. I fully believe that it is God’s purpose for me just as I believe that writing literally saved my life. I have since seen my work published nearly a dozen times in various journals and have even self published some of those works in the form of a short story and poetry collection that is available on Amazon.

The journey to where I am today has been a bit of a long one, and has certainly seen its bumps. I’ve asked myself many times over the years if I was just wasting my time, if my work was good enough, if anybody would ever care what I have to say. This is a bit discouraging at times, but for the most part it is said that every true author goes through that. Everyone, at some point, is going to feel the worry that something is wrong, that they are wasting their time. The difference in success and failure, however, is picking yourself up and going on no matter how hard it seems.

So that’s a part of my journey (I could write for days on my experiences and why I keep going, but I won’t subject you all to that just yet). I hope you all enjoyed it, and I hope you’ll share yours as well. Keep your eyes on the prize and don’t give up, no matter how hard things get, folks. Until next time.

Beating the Monday Blues

/ Damean Mathews, Author / Leave a comment

Mondays suck. Lets face it. But that doesn’t have to stop us from doing great things. We, as artists and writers, really need to give ourselves a bit of a schedule to follow. Some authors will find themselves needing a more strict and rigid schedule. Throughout history there are some authors who have stated that they wouldn’t let themselves do anything else until they had typed X amount of pages or written X amount of words per day. This can be quite a daunting idea for some us and for others it can honestly be nearly impossible. If we don’t have a set schedule at work it can be very hard to try and have a set schedule with out writing. This can lead us to breaking any type of schedule we may try to set. That’s not good at all.

Other of us (myself included at times) don’t like trying to demand ourselves to meet a certain deadline. Granted we may sometimes be under contract and actually have a deadline, but that doesn’t mean that we can just force ourselves to vomit out a certain amount of work just because it’s what we say we need to do. Part of this can be fixed with the inspiration I so love to write about. Even while typing this I am listening to music on my old Mp3 player to make sure I stay motivated despite the feeling of inspiration that I’ve had today. I have used the music on this player to help me write and focus on my craft for so long that I’ve had to change players three of four times because I’ve worn some of the others out and just ran out of room on one.

But we do want to continue performing our craft at the level we are now and we do want to improve. We may find it hard, or even impossible to do that if we let the world get in the way of our productivity. Yes, it’s Monday, and yes that means we are going back to work and/or school and are feeling the typical mourning over the loss of the weekend, but Mondays can be positive as well. Mondays can symbolize the beginning of a whole new week of work. This can be the week where we tackle that hard chapter and vow to gain something from it. Or maybe this is the week we complete that particularly hard painting or song. Maybe it’s even just the week we convince ourselves to pick up the tools of our trade and produce SOMETHING. Mondays can be real downers. They can kill our spirit and motivation and bring us so low that we don’t even have the ability to produce anything at all that week. But they can also mean a lot. They can be the day we start the ending to our latest novel, or start that new painting, or the day we start writing our own music instead of just learning what has already been done. Monday may come at the worst possible time, but it can also bring us a never-ending realm of possibilities. Don’t waste them!!!!

An Incredible and Humbling Experience

/ Damean Mathews, Author / Leave a comment

Hey there friends and fans. I hope you are all doing well and that your craft and passion is going smoothly. My own work has been up and down as usual, leading me to feel a bit of self doubt and woe, made all the much worse by the fact that I have graduated college for the second time and still find myself having trouble getting full-time employment. But I digress.

As many of you may know or have remembered, this weekend brought one of the things I most look forward to in the year; the Appalachian Heritage Writers Symposium. I first started attending the symposium four years ago and quickly fell in love with it. The opportunities provided by this convention are almost endless. A large portion of the Appalachian Heritage Writers Guild are present every year. These individuals are all successful authors, many of whom have a good portion of publications under their belts. The symposium consists of two days worth of workshops where these authors are asked to present and teach about an element of the craft, a specific genre or something of the sort (publication, editing, etc…always something that will be helpful to other authors). Each year there is one, at least slightly more famous, author who is asked to be the keynote speaker.

My personal experience with this symposium is that it is wonderful. Each year I have left the events feeling more confident in my work, my abilities and my future as a writer. In fact, some of you may remember that it was the symposium itself that led me to creating this very blog. How’s that for awesome? Anyway, this year’s experience was one that stood apart from my three previous ones for a number of reasons. Lately I have been a bit worried that my work isn’t quite up to par, that I haven’t accomplished anything, that I haven’t done anything positive or made anything of myself. I now realize that is because I haven’t done it all yet. My list of accomplishments (please forgive me here, I’m not trying to boast. I’m merely trying to show you all that accomplishments aren’t just huge goals or obstacles to overcome) is fairly large. As a student I was managing editor of a literary journal for two years and head news writer for a newspaper for one, because people had confidence in my writing. I have completed two of the three (or four) novels in my Maverip series. I have graduated college twice. The list goes on and on.

I came to this realization because of the symposium. This year was particularly unique for me for a couple of reasons. One; I was asked to present a workshop. Me. The guy who feels like he’s a failure at least half the time. Members of the committee asked me if I would lend my expertise in the field of the supernatural to do a panel on Zombies and the Un-Dead in relation to Appalachian Literature. I humbly accepted and worked hard on a presentation that I may discuss later this week.

It was a success. People from all walks of life- at least one of whom was not the least bit interested in the topic until hearing me speak on it- attended and raved about the workshop. I had a number of people tell me how great it was and how much I made them think. One even thanked me for the ideas I had given her. On the second day I had people who had been unable to attend my workshop approaching me throughout the entire day telling me they’d heard such wonderful things that they wished they’d prioritized better. This made me feel like I was doing something right. I was beyond humbled to have these successful authors suddenly become my peers, while others became my temporary students. And the feeling that I was absolutely blessed only grew as I got the compliments I’ve mentioned. But one experience remains.

This year’s keynote speaker was the author Jeffery Deaver. For those of you who don’t know, Deaver is the author of the book The Bone Collector (and many more). I was able to get this genius’s autograph, speak to him face to face and even take a selfie with him. But the true humbling and mystifying part was that I got to be in a book signing with him. By that I don’t just mean that I fanboy’d and got his signature (which I did, obviously), but I was actually sitting at my own table, with some of my work in front of me, being asked for MY autograph. I literally signed my work while an international bestselling author was one table over signing his own. I’ve never felt anything like that.

I told you all of this because I was trying to make a point. I wasn’t trying to brag or exalt myself, I do promise that. My point here is this; We can’t let ourselves get down about things. No, I’m not a Nobel Prize winner yet. Not am I on the New York Times bestseller list. But I am an author. I am a good author (at least based on what I’m told). I have completed works, and even self-published some pieces on Amazon. Too often do we allow ourselves to believe that we haven’t done anything with our lives in one way or another. We are our own worst critic, and if we aren’t careful that experience can ruin us. If we wake up every day and tell ourselves that we are failures and haven’t or won’t achieve anything then we are setting ourselves ip for failure. We have to look at the things we have done, set minor goals and proceed. We are strong and we can do whatever we intend, whatever we dream. Don’t forget that. Stand strong, believe in yourself and try hard!

Support A Good Cause!!

/ Damean Mathews, Author / Leave a comment

Hey guys, I just wanted to give you all a reminder about UpLive. The site has been up and running strong since Sunday and has gotten a lot of positive feedback, but there are countless people out there who could use the type of inspirational messages we are trying to send. It’s going to take all of us working together to get it going strong and spread far and wide, so please make the effort. Go to the site, read the posts, share it with everyone you know. Share this post if you don’t want to do that. Just make sure that you help spread the message. There might be someone out there whose life really could be saved by the type of inspiration this site can give. It only takes a second to share, so come on guys, help us all out. In the meantime, whether you draw inspiration from it or not, I hope you will take the time to read the posts and appreciate the feeling behind them and the talent of those who have written them. If you like them, let the writers know. Feel free to comment and share. This is more for the public and those who need it than it is for us, either way. We don’t need gratification. We just want to help those who need it or could use it. Anyway, I hope you all had a great Memorial Day and a great first half of the week! The link to UpLive is below, please share and enjoy.

http://www.uplivedaily.com/

New Name, New Project, New Stage of Life

/ Damean Mathews, Author / Leave a comment

Hey there friends and fans! The new name is a fresh start that I hope you all enjoy. If not, I ask for feedback in any way possible! So, with college behind me, marriage and my future ahead of me, and a plethora of books to read ( and write, of course!, things have taken a new turn in my life! First and foremost I have started a new and awesome thing that I am very excited about. I’ve started an online book club!It’s on Youtube, which is a new way to take it (I think), and gives people multiple ways to respond. I really love to read and talk to everyone around me about the things that I’m reading, so this opportunity excites me to no end. I really hope that each and every one of you will take part in the book club with me.

The plan goes as follows; I’ll post a video each Thursday, presenting a rundown of the book that I’ve chosen for that week and give everyone the opportunity to purchase, check out or otherwise get the book in some format or another and begin their reading. The following Tuesday I will post another with my own commentary and we’ll take the next couple of days to discuss the book and our opinions as well as give suggestions for the next selection.

I look really forward to diving into this wholeheartedly. I hope you will all take part in it with me and make this a great way for bibliophiles to join in something meaningful that isn’t just social media browsing. If any of you know someone else who would be interested in this I ask you to share this post or the channel itself (which I will link below) with them and encourage them to take part. If we really get this thing going it could be a worldwide way for people to connect with the awesomeness of literature! If we can get some good commentary and a running discussion on YouTube with the book club I may even try to make posts here to continue the conversations and take them to a deeper level. Here is the link to the page;
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC57mZlzf3sIL_rayJsxbFZQ

For everyone interested, the first book we are reading in the book club is “The Scarlet Gospels” by Clive Barker. It is the long awaited end of the infamous Pinhead character from Barker’s Hellraiser series, the Cenobite who made his first appearance in “The Hellbound Heart”.

Another thing I’ve got coming up that I encourage all of you to keep your eyes on is UpLive. UpLive is another blog site that I am going to be working with that is meant to inspire and encourage others, much like this one. The site is launching this Sunday (5/24/15) and will feature posts from myself and at least 8 other writers. We all will be discussing a huge variety of things and will each be putting our own unique spin on the topics at hand. I can’t say much more about the page yet, since it hasn’t really gotten started, but once we get going and get the bugs worked out I’ll make sure you all hear more. I will be referencing both blogs from now on and will be encouraging people from each one to visit the other and interact in the best ways possible. Here is the link to UpLive;
http://www.uplivedaily.com/

Anyway, that’s what I’ve been up to. How about you all? What sort of things have been taking place in your lives? I love hearing from you guys and I hope you’ll all start being more vocal! Enjoy the post, the book club and UpLive and I WILL be back soon!

Times are changing!

/ Damean Mathews, Author / Leave a comment

Hey everyone. I know I have been absent again, but hopefully that will be changing soon. As some of you know, I’m finishing up my final year of Undergraduate education. I graduate from my good school in May, meaning I’ll no longer be a college author! This means I need a name change here for one, but it also means that I should have more time to post again, bringing the blog back to what I meant it to be! Anyway, just a heads up, friends and fans. If you have any suggestions for a new name let me know, and as always if you have any suggestions for what you’d like to see here, feel free to comment below or message me directly!!!

New Works, Benefits

/ Damean Mathews, Author / Leave a comment

Hey there friends and fans! What’s happening in your world this year? So far things have been going well for me. As you all already know I have started vlogging and writing a few new ideas. Those things are going pretty well, although I’m getting almost no views on my vlogs. It’s a good way to keep my head straight though. It helps me organize ideas and rant and vent. In a way I suppose the benefits are almost the same as those of writing in a diary or journal. I have put the links to the vlog in previous posts, so if you want to check it out, I welcome you to. Also, I have begun working on Wattpad in order to find myself in a new genre and gaining a new audience. I am working on a Fanfiction piece there. It’s a sequel to the film “Near Dark”, which is an absolutely fantastic movie. I feel it really deserves a sequel, so I took it upon myself to work on one that I hope will do the original storyline justice while giving it a modern touch.

In my experience so far, I feel like both of these are very good ways for authors and artists of just about any kind to work on their craft. It’s good to be able to vlog and share some things on Youtube, because there are obviously millions of viewers out there leaping for new things. It’s similar with Wattpad. It’s a good way to work on branching out and trying your hand at new types of work or putting a couple of chapters out there for people to read for free so you can see how well it is liked. This all being said, you have to be very careful with exactly what you share, of course. You don’t want to publish an entire novel on Wattpad and then try to get it published. People won’t want to pay for what they don’t have to. After all “why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?” Also, you don’t want to give to many plot ideas or any huge details of any works you may talk about in a vlog. All of that, of course, is up to you. But both are helpful. I feel that, just in the last few weeks, the use of these two things has helped me to branch out more as an author, which is what you want to do. You want to gain as much of an audience as possible, which can be very hard in a world where literature and literacy are falling deep into the recesses of technological advancement. But that’s a rant I’ve had more than once, and -spoiler alert- will certainly do again in the future. Everyone, have a great night, a great week, and I’ll post my Wattpad link below. Please read, subscribe and rate. Also, remember that anyone who gives me a review online between now and April will win a free copy of my next published work!

http://www.wattpad.com/user/DameanMathews

New Project and Free Stuff!

/ Damean Mathews, Author / Leave a comment

Here we go guys, first promo of the year; I’m offering my bestselling work “The Reaper and Other Tales” absolutely free! The deal starts Sunday morning at 8 A.M. and runs through Tuesday morning at this link; http://www.amazon.com/Reaper-other-tales-Damean-Mathews-ebook/dp/B00FSJX8DE/ref=sr_1_2?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1420832406&sr=1-2

But there’s more!! Anyone who reviews my work online will receive a free copy of my next published work as well! I know, it changes the contest I was running before, but I think this is better. Every single person who gives a review on my work will receive a copy of my next work absolutely free of charge!

In addition to this deal, I have started working on a couple of things (one of which is available for free). I made a Wattpad account and I’m using it to write a piece of Fanfiction to explore a new genre and present a sequel to one of my favorite movies. The movie, Near Dark, is one that everyone should watch and my sequel “Near Dawn” picks up ten years later and it is free to read on Wattpad;http://www.wattpad.com/story/30168510-near-dawn

Two more things for this post; A) there’s a new vlog up, so check it out!! and B) I updated my website today, so check that out, too! mathewsbooks.wix.com/dameanmathews

Have a great day, I hope you enjoy all of my work. Feedback is always welcome!!